Then Solomon said, “Don’t kill the child! Give it to the first woman—she is its real mother.” [1 Kings 3:27 (GNT)]
Immediately after finishing yesterday’s devotion about conflict and prayer, I received a call from a friend whose 11-year old granddaughter, Anna, has osteosarcoma (bone cancer). Having undergone chemotherapy for the past two months, she is scheduled for surgery this week. In the best case scenario, her knee and part of her femur will be removed and replaced by a metal prostheses; the worst case scenario involves complete amputation of the leg. In either case, more chemo and at least six to twelve months of physical therapy will follow.
As distressed as this grandfather is by his grand’s cancer, he is even more upset by her parents’ behavior. Divorced several years ago, they decided upon an “every other week” type of joint custody. Although this often sounds like a win-win solution, court battles about custody issues have continued since the divorce. Rather than a good compromise, their custody agreement is more like an, “If I can’t have her all of the time, neither can you!” sort of thing. Their story reminds me of the two women claiming to be the mother of the same infant who came to King Solomon to settle their dispute. As the women argued, King Solomon called for his sword and ordered that the child be cut in half so that each one could have a part of him. “No!” screamed one mother who said to give him to the other woman so that he could live. “Go ahead,” said the other woman since that way neither mother would have the baby. Solomon immediately knew the identity of the real mother—the woman who was willing to give up her own flesh and blood so that he could live. Real parents are willing to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of their children, even if that means losing them. Now, with a seriously ill youngster, instead of putting aside their differences and forming a united wall of protection around their daughter, Anna’s parents brought their dispute not just into the court but also into the hospital. Because tempers flared and things got so contentious, only that week’s custodial parent can be with the girl in hospital.
Yesterday, I wrote about turning to Scripture and prayer as a way of handling disputes. In this case, although counselling and the courts haven’t worked, Scripture and prayer haven’t been tried. It is in God’s word and prayer that these parents would find true wisdom, strength and the directions to sacrifice, forgive, and love in the way that the mother in Solomon’s court did. I know both of Anna’s parents love her but they are unwilling to put aside their anger, resentment, and selfish desires for the sake of their child. Instead of being sliced in half by a sword, an eleven year old girl is being torn apart by two adults who are more interested in winning every dispute than they are in finding a way to live in peace and bring healing to their daughter. So invested in winning, they can’t see the real loser in their hateful war. Unfortunately, while their situation is extreme, Anna is not the only child of divorce being used as a pawn in her parents’ game of revenge.
Father in Heaven, forgive us when we look to our needs and desires instead of to you. Watch over and strengthen, not just Anna, but all children caught in the middle of their parents’ battles. May we all learn to call to you in prayer, turn to your word for wisdom, be willing to sacrifice our desires for the good of others, and continually act with forgiveness and love.
In speaking about prayer recently, our pastor referred to the 2009 church-wide assembly of our denomination. Knowing that the agenda included some divisive topics, the Presiding Bishop asked the delegates to spend the 50 days leading up to the convention devoted to both prayer and the study of Scripture. Once the Assembly convened, there was heated discussion among the delegates about the writing of a statement on human sexuality. The debate about this controversial subject was unique because the Presiding Bishop, Mark Hanson, halted the proceedings every twenty minutes to lead the assembly in prayer. Delegates on opposing sides, who had been vehemently arguing minutes earlier, often would lay hands on one another and pray for each other during these breaks. Praying for unity in spite of their disagreements, the delegates showed respect and love for one another. Although the final statement passed by only one vote and there is still disagreement within the church about it, without those pauses for prayer, that debate could have caused far more damage to the church than did the tornado that accompanied the assembly.
While reading C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy, I couldn’t help but think of the proud Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar. He was so full of himself that he erected a 90-foot golden statue and then demanded that people fall down and worship it as a sign of loyalty to him. When interpreting one of the king’s dreams, Daniel told Nebuchadnezzar that he would be driven from human society and only regain his kingdom when the king learned that heaven, not man, rules. The king was warned to change his evil behavior. In spite of the caution and even though he’d seen the power of the Israelites’ one true God when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego survived the fiery furnace, Nebuchadnezzar didn’t change his ways. While looking down from his rooftop and surveying the wonders of Babylon, he expressed pride in his accomplishments and congratulated himself on his mighty power. Before the words were even out of his mouth, a voice from heaven pronounced judgment upon him. The king developed what is known as boanthropy, a psychological disorder in which one becomes delusional and thinks he or she is a cow. The high and mighty king was driven from society and lived and ate like an animal for the next seven years.
I’m in the midst of reading a series of seven children’s fantasy novels, The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis. Some of them, like The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I read as a girl but others are new to me. The world of Narnia is a world to which one wants to return again and again and I’m enjoying my visit ever so much. C.S. Lewis, however, was much more than a writer of fantasy, non-fiction and poetry; he was a well-known lecturer, a brilliant scholar and a renowned Christian apologist.
“We can’t attack those people! They’re too strong for us! … The land we explored is one that devours those who live there. All the people we saw there are very tall. … We felt as small as grasshoppers, and that’s how we must have looked to them.” [Numbers 13:31-33 (GW)]
I recently happened upon a YouTube video about a goose and two police officers. A mother goose kept pecking at the window of a parked Cincinnati police car. When the officer opened the door, the goose led him over to one of her babies; it was tangled up in a string tied to a balloon. Concerned that mama goose would attack if he came close to the baby, the first officer stayed back. His partner was a woman and a mother; seeing the anguish of another mother, she went forward and carefully untangled the little gosling while its mama patiently watched and waited. Once free of the twine, the baby rejoined its siblings and the family swam off with their mother.
