If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. [Luke 14:26-27 (CSB)]
How can Jesus, who told us to love our enemies and do good to them, tell us to hate our families? Do we have to despise our relatives if we want to be His disciples? Jesus, however, used “hate” idiomatically. Demanding unrivaled loyalty, He used hyperbole to contrast ultimate devotion to Him with all other attachments. In comparison to our love for Jesus, we are to love our family less than we love Him. Christ is to be first and foremost in our hearts and minds and we are to love Him more than anything else in our lives.
In a similar way, Jesus stressed exclusive service when speaking of money in Matthew 6:24 and Luke 16:13. Love for one master necessitates “hating” (loving less) the rival. To be His disciple, Jesus demands total commitment; we must be willing to give up everything for Him, even if that means the things and people we love—as well as our lives.
While we may have given up a few bad habits or unsavory friends when we accepted Christ, Christian apologist Nabeel Qureshi gave up far more. When this Pakistani American gave up his Muslim faith, he gave up his loving family, too. I cannot begin to comprehend the difficulty of Qureshi’s choice to follow Christ and the pain experienced by both parents and son. When I read his story, I understood what Jesus meant when He said to count the cost before we pick up that cross to follow Him. For Qureshi, that price was family and many friends!
After getting the disciples’ attention with his shocking statement about hating one’s family, Jesus followed with a parable about a man who undertook a project without counting the cost and then couldn’t finish what he began. Never one to mince words, Jesus warned His disciples there was a cost to following Him. He told them they’d be hated, persecuted, banned from their synagogues, and even killed. [John 15:18-16:4] The Apostles gave up more than their families; they gave up friends, jobs, financial security, safety, and even their lives.
Consider the Apostle Paul. Originally known as Saul of Tarsus, he came from a family of Pharisees. An active leader in persecuting the followers of Christ, he may have been a member of the Sanhedrin at the time; if not, Saul was well on his way to becoming part of the high council. He probably was everything a devout Jewish family wanted in a good son, that is until he became the Christian evangelist we know as Paul! Think of what it cost Paul emotionally, financially, and physically to follow Jesus!
Because I was raised in a family of believers, married a believer, and live in a country where I am free to worship, I’ve never had to choose between Jesus and my family, livelihood, or life. Christ’s followers in countries like Afghanistan, North Korea, Somalia, Libya, Yemen, Nigeria, and Pakistan are not so blessed. They face surveillance, discrimination, persecution, violence, imprisonment, torture, and even death for following Christ! They know what it means to carry a cross, because they carry one every day! Any burden I carry for Jesus is but a trifle compared to the challenges they face daily. I can’t help but wonder if my commitment to the Lord is as great as theirs. Have I truly died to self? Have you?
How could I betray my family after all they had done for me? By becoming a Christian, not only would I lose all connection with the Muslim community around me, my family would lose their honor as well. My decision would not only destroy me, it would also destroy my family, the ones who loved me most and sacrificed so much for me. I began mourning the impact of the decision I knew I had to make.… “But Jesus,” I said, “accepting you would be like dying. I will have to give up everything.” [Nabeel Qureshi]
Like many of the psalms, Psalm 136 opens with words of thanksgiving. Beginning with creation, this beautiful psalm reviews God’s goodness in regard to his people and encourages them to praise Him for his merciful and steadfast love. Where it differs from the other psalms of thanksgiving is that every line is followed by a refrain of “His faithful love endures forever.” From those first three verses, it continues giving thanks “to him who alone does mighty miracles. … who made the heavens so skillfully. … who placed the earth among the waters. … who made the heavenly lights … the sun to rule the day… and the moon and stars to rule the night,” with its refrain following each verse. The next 13 verses recount Israel’s’ history…bringing them out of Egypt, parting the Red Sea, leading his people through the wilderness, defeating Pharaoh’s army, striking down powerful kings, and giving the land to Israel. Psalm 136 tells us that life is neither random nor meaningless; we are not here accidentally. Our lives are meticulously planned and intelligently designed.
Since her church attendance is limited to Christmas and Easter, with an occasional funeral or wedding thrown in, a neighbor describes herself as being a “Birth and Resurrectionist.” People like her are often categorized as “nominal” or “non-practicing” Christians. Granted, church attendance is not the litmus test for Christianity. Nevertheless, lack of church attendance indicates a lack of commitment and a token or non-practicing faith. While such people identify as “Christians,” their Christianity is a more a matter of culture, habit, or tradition than one of faith, creed, and rebirth.
Back in 2015, after their Washington, D.C., home was invaded, a family of three and their housekeeper were held hostage and tortured for nineteen hours before being brutally murdered and their house set on fire. During the family’s incomprehensible ordeal, their captor had a pizza delivered and calmly ate it. Ultimately, it was DNA left on a piece of that pizza that led police to the killer. While discovering his identity was an astounding piece of detective work, what most astonished me is that, while holding four people hostage—people likely crying in pain and pleading desperately for their lives—someone could calmly eat a pizza! How could anyone have an appetite while committing such an atrocious and cruel crime? Yet, Daron Wint did! Convicted of 20 counts of kidnapping, extortion, and murder, he was sentenced to four life terms in prison without the possibility of parole.
Wearing a stuffed backpack and carrying his Teddy bear, little Tommy walked past his neighbor’s house. A short while later, he walked by her house in the same direction. He disappeared around the corner only to reappear several minutes later. As he was passing her house for the fourth time, the neighbor asked him what he was doing. When Tommy explained he was running away, she asked why he was only circling the block. “Because I’m not allowed to cross the street!”
Things were going well for Moses in Midian: he was happily married, with a family, and tending his father-in-law’s sheep. Then God interrupted his comfortable life with a burning bush and a major task: free the Israelites. Moses reacted the way most of us would by questioning God. Who am I to do this? Who do I say sent me? What if they don’t believe me? He then told God he simply wasn’t up to the task. Not one to be thwarted, God responded to all of Moses’ concerns. He would be with him, provide the words, the proof, and even Aaron to do the talking. In short, God promised to provide and so Moses obeyed.