Category Archives: Family, Friends & Fellowship

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September 9, 2016

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Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Forgiveness, Fruit of the Spirit, Love & Works, Obedience, Prayer, Temptation & Sin

JUST DESERTS

There is a saying, “Love your friends and hate your enemies.” But I say: Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way you will be acting as true sons of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust too. [Matthew 5:43-45 (TLB)]

There’s no need for revenge. Just sit back and wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves and, if you’re lucky, God will let you watch! [Anonymous bit of Internet wisdom]

thistleLike many, I mistook the phrase, “just deserts” for “just desserts.” The phrase comes from a now obsolete meaning of the word “desert” which was something deserved or merited. However we spell or say it, we tend to take a certain amount of pleasure when our enemies, adversaries, and those people who manage to make our lives difficult or downright miserable get what they deserve. “Poetic justice,” we say while watching them reap the consequences of their actions. Bad attitudes, excess drama, inappropriate behavior, substandard performance, selfishness, pettiness, laziness and insubordination all have a way of catching up with people. It’s hard to have any sympathy for them when they end up in a world of hurt of their own making. Jesus doesn’t tell us we have to be sympathetic but He does say we have to love and pray for them! We don’t have to allow their poison to seep into our lives, make excuses for them, enable them, tolerate horrible behavior, or become embroiled in their drama, but we do have to love and pray!

It’s way too easy to chuckle and take pleasure in seeing the tables turn on the problematic people in our lives. That’s simply Satan tempting us to be petty and vengeful. If God lets us watch as they sink into the hole they dug for themselves, it’s not to take pleasure in their dilemma; it’s so that we can love them, pray for them and maybe even offer a helping hand.

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. [Buddha]

If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even scoundrels do that much. If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the heathen do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. [Matthew 5:46-48 (TLB)]

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September 6, 2016

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Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Forgiveness, God's Grace & Love, God's Word: The Bible, Joy, Love & Works, Today: Make it Count

REMEMBERING WHO I LOVE (and who loves me)

Wear me as a signet ring on your heart, as a ring on your hand. Love is as overpowering as death. Devotion is as unyielding as the grave. Love’s flames are flames of fire, flames that come from the Lord. Raging water cannot extinguish love, and rivers will never wash it away. [Song of Solomon 8:6-7a (GW)]

mute swansI was right. In fact, I was so right I deserved a gold star and he was so wrong that he should have gotten a big red “F” but he never admitted it. Although I congratulated myself for not saying, “I told you so!” I still wanted him to eat a little humble pie. Then the Holy Spirit did His job and rightly convicted me of being a bit self-righteous and a whole lot mean-spirited. I was reminded of Luther, a man from our church who I called “a disciple of Christ” in a previous devotion. He always greeted people with a smile and the phrase, “Jesus loves you and I do, too.” As I heard Luther’s words in my mind, I stopped in mid-gripe and remembered that Jesus loves my man and I do, too.

I wrote the previous paragraph several months’ ago and the devotion remained unfinished in my “work on” folder until I came upon it this morning. I don’t even remember what it was that vexed me so much but I do remember how I nearly allowed Satan to drive a wedge between me and the man I love. Had I allowed it, an incident that was trivial then could have developed into something rather troubling by now. Fortunately, I chose love instead of spite. Nevertheless, I shudder at thinking how easily something so trivial could have stolen our joy for even an instant.

If I made a list of my favorite chapters in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 would rank way up there. No matter how many times I study it, I never tire of reading about love—not romance—but true love—love that gives of itself, overlooks, forgives and yields, love that is polite, committed, unconditional, and respectful. Love finds joy in sorrow, beauty in brokenness, hope in despair, abundance in scarcity and laughter in tears. Love blesses, honors, shares, protects and endures; it serves, cooperates, builds and trusts. When we love, we delight in one another, listen to each other, and give without expecting anything in return. Love overlooks all those petty annoyances that are part of living with someone and love certainly doesn’t waste a minute griping, nagging or serving up humble pie. Love is a choice and love always remembers that “Jesus loves you and I do, too!”

 Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. [Martin Luther]

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. Love never comes to an end. [1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (GW)]

Whoever forgives an offense seeks love, but whoever keeps bringing up the issue separates the closest of friends. [Proverbs 17:9 (GW)]

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September 2, 2016

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Attitudes & Behavior, Church & Worship, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Love & Works, Salvation: A New You, Sharing Our Faith, Temptation & Sin, Today: Make it Count

LOGOS

Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. [Philippians 3:17-18 (NLT)]

CardinalAs I grabbed my jacket, I noticed the familiar Under Armour logo on the front. Looking down, I saw that my t-shirt advertised a local boot camp class and my shorts displayed Fila’s logo. Eyeing my husband, I saw that his shorts displayed the same logo as mine and his shirt advertised the physical therapy clinic that has treated him over the years. While my cap sported the famed Nike swish, the name of a local pub was embroidered on his. A red swish peeked out from the top of his shoes while my socks were decorated with New Balance’s logo and pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness. The large “N” on each side of our sneakers identified them as another New Balance purchase. We were virtual walking billboards and we’d paid a hefty price for the privilege of advertising other people’s goods and services!

Although we both find our shoes comfortable and have spent plenty of hours at that PT clinic, we have no reason to advertise any of those brands. Labels used to be hidden on the inside of our clothes but now we proudly display them on the outside. Yet, many of us cringe at the label of “Christian.” I think of a husband-wife team of Christian apologist authors who have encountered such negative reactions to saying they are Christians that they now describe themselves as “Followers of Christ.”

Unfortunately, much of the world has a negative stereotype of a “Christian” and it may not be entirely undeserved. If we wear the label “Christian,” are we afraid people will think they know our politics or that we’re Bible thumpers, don’t believe in laughter or fun, are judgmental and intolerant, hate people for their lifestyles, are hypocrites, think we’re better than everyone else, or will give them a list of shouldn’ts, can’ts and don’ts? Unfortunately, some Christians are like that but, fortunately, most are not. Moreover, other than the Bible thumping, that description can be applied to plenty of non-Christians as well.

Do we wear our faith as openly as we do our sportswear logos? Do we advertise for Jesus as readily as we do our favorite businesses? With my husband’s noticeable limp, he’s probably not the best advertisement for that physical therapy clinic. Are we good advertisements for Christ or do we just further the negative stereotypes? People need to recognize us, not by Christian symbols but by Christian love. If we’re ever going to change those negative stereotypes, people will need to know our true identity—a child of God, a follower of Christ, a Christian—not just by our behavior but by knowing that Jesus is the reason we act as we do! Let us never forget that we may be the only Bible some people read and the only Jesus some people meet.

Christ has no hands but our hands To do His work today;
He has no feet but our feet To lead men in His way;
He has no tongue but our tongue To tell men how He died;
He has no help but our help To bring them to His side.
We are the only Bible The careless world will read;
We are the sinners gospel, We are the scoffer’s creed;
We are the Lord’s last message, Given in deed and word;
What if the type is crooked? What if the print is blurred?
[Annie Johnson Flint]

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father. [Colossians 3:17 (NLT)]

Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. [1 Peter 2:12a (NLT)

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August 30, 2016

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Attitudes & Behavior, Challenges & Difficulty, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Forgiveness, Love & Works, Peace of God, Temptation & Sin

BLESSINGS NOT REVENGE (Anger – Part 2)

If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the Devil a chance. [Ephesians 4:26-27 (GNT)]

But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion, and hateful feelings. … The peace that Christ gives is to guide you in the decisions you make. [Colossians 3: 8a,15a (GNT)]

Anger itself isn’t the sin; it’s what we do with it that can make it a sin. [jsjdevotions]

jump in the lake

For several years, our lake home has been for sale. Although one potential buyer has been circling our house for nearly two years, he’s had absolutely nothing good to say about the property, our broker or even us. Granted, this is his method of negotiation, but there was no need to be unpleasant, rude and argumentative. In good faith, we’d entered into an informal agreement with him but he hadn’t honored his side of the agreement. As I was writing yesterday’s meditation about anger, he finally made an offer on the house. Had it been made by anyone else, we would have been interested. Made by him, however, a man who’s been both disagreeable and uncompromising, our first reaction was “Absolutely, no!” We’d taken such a dislike to this party (someone we’ve never even met) that we didn’t want him to have the house no matter what he paid.

God does seem to have an uncanny sense of timing! There I was, writing about not being led by anger and yet we were letting anger lead us into making a foolish decision. Realizing it was nothing personal—just the way this man negotiates and probably deals with everyone else in his life—we made the deal. We didn’t have to like or respect him to sell him our house.

Anger and resentment, however, were still lingering in our hearts. While the buyer may have won the battle, we could still win the war. We didn’t have to tell him how to winterize the house, ready the hoists and piers for winter, or the quirky way the fireplace works. We weren’t obligated to share the names of the people who service the boat, mow, weed, trim trees, wash windows, and fill the propane. Although we sold the house furnished, much was not included in the inventory list. We didn’t have to leave him the extra light fixtures and light bulbs, spare glass for the fireplace, and books of directions for every appliance. It wasn’t necessary to leave the modem, water softener salt, hangers, fire extinguishers, extension cords, surge protectors, and directions for rigging the sailboat. We could take the children’s chairs and picnic table, crib, high chair, booster chairs, books, toys, games and the basketball backboard. The flash lights, coolers, grass seed, weed killer, and garden tools could have disappeared. Although we had no use for any of those things, out of spite, we were ready to take them to the Goodwill store or garbage dump before we’d leave anything for this man and his family.

Enjoying the taste of petty revenge, I went back to working on yesterday’s anger message. The Apostle Paul, the Holy Spirit and even my own words convicted me and that taste of revenge immediately turned sour. Clearly, by thinking of ways to strike back, we were still sinfully leading with anger. We realized that we’d never feel good about selling the house until we let go of our pique and desire to even the score. Instead of exacting revenge, we decided to give the buyers all of that stuff and plenty more.

Letting go of anger and forgiving those who offend us are the only way God wants us to live and they’re the only way I want to live. Last week, as we departed the lake house for our final time, instead of being angry, we were happy. We pictured a family with four young children who would move into the beautiful house we’ve enjoyed for 37 years. We thought of the wonderful memories they’ll build as their children learn to swim, water ski, sail, fish, make s’mores and catch fireflies! We also left two bottles of champagne chilling in the refrigerator, a photo book I made of the lake’s wildflowers, my nearly world-famous recipe for buttermilk pancakes (our guests’ favorite breakfast since 1979) and our blessings to the new owner and his family!

Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody. Never take revenge, my friends, but instead let God’s anger do it. For the scripture says, “I will take revenge, I will pay back, says the Lord.” Instead, as the scripture says: “If your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them a drink; for by doing this you will make them burn with shame.”  Do not let evil defeat you; instead, conquer evil with good. [Romans 12:18-21 (GNT)]

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August 19, 2016

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Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Joy, Love & Works, Patience & Perseverance, Wisdom & Guidance

THE “WE” MARRIAGE

Mallards
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. [Romans 12:10 (NLT)]

Today is my 49th wedding anniversary and, as I was looking for material for a message about marriage, I came across a 2010 article from the New York Times. Titled “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage,” it asserted that marriage is no longer about putting the relationship first. People in what the author calls a “sustainable marriage” have spouses who “make their lives more interesting.” In something called “self-expansion,” partners “sculpt” each other “in ways that help each of them attain valued goals.” As for sculpting my partner, I may have sanded off a few of his rough edges in all these years but no relationship is sustainable when we’re trying to change our partner instead of ourselves!

I then linked to “The Sustainable Marriage Quiz” where questions were to be answered on a scale of one (not very much) to seven (very much). According to the author, the higher the score, the happier and “more sustainable” the marriage would be. It asked questions about how much our partner increased our ability to accomplish new things, increased our knowledge, resulted in our having new experiences, or was seen as a way to expand our own capabilities.

The article and quiz seemed to put the burden of our growth on our spouse. Granted, our spouses should motivate and encourage us—that’s what love does. Nevertheless, it remains our task to improve ourselves and become more accomplished, knowledgeable, interesting, and capable. The responsibility for our happiness and growth falls squarely on our shoulders, not those of our spouse. I think of the character in Jerry McGuire who said, “You complete me.” Becoming complete is not someone else’s task; it is ours!

No relationship lasts if it becomes stagnant but I wonder how long anyone can sustain an effort to keep giving one’s spouse new experiences, skills, or knowledge. As much as I love adventure, there is something delightful about doing some of the same things again and again with the person I love! The article cited research done at universities and I suspect the subjects were younger. Their concept of a “long-lasting relationship” was probably quite different than mine. When I think of a relationship as “sustained,” I think in terms of several decades not just a few months or years.

Although I believe the happy marriage is the “we” (rather than “me”) marriage, the truly sustainable marriage has a third party in it—God. As my husband and I have grown in our faith, we have grown in our love for one another. The more God-centered our marriage has been, the richer our relationship and the happier we have become. At close to half a century together, ours is not just a long-lasting relationship, but also one that is truly satisfying and sustainable. It is sustained by the grace of God through prayer and hard work. It is sustained by the effort we each make every day to love one another in a way that both meets our needs and honors God. It is sustained by thinking “we” and not “me.” It is sustained by a commitment to make the marriage work and by remembering that “love never gives up.”

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. [1 Corinthians 13:7 (NLT)]

The question is asked, “Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and girl clasping clean hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?” And the answer is given. “Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped, their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love.”  [author unknown, found in “Stories for a Faithful Heart” compiled by Alice Gray]

Copyright ©2016 jsjdevotions. All rights reserved.
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August 9, 2016

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Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Forgiveness, Fruit of the Spirit, God's Grace & Love, Obedience, Salvation: A New You, Temptation & Sin

IN HIS NAME

Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. Not everyone who calls out to me, “Lord! Lord!” will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day many will say to me, “Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.” But I will reply, “I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.” [Matthew 7:20-23 (NLT)]

ave maria oratoryWhen my children were younger, there were several occasions that I wanted to pretend I had no idea to whom they belonged! There was that time one noticed (and used) the red emergency stop button on an escalator, or another discovered the meaning of the “domino effect” after pulling over one stanchion at the airport and seeing another ten follow suit, or one managed to be so nasty to the babysitter that she went home in tears, or when hotel security came knocking because of spitballs dropping from the window of our children’s adjoining hotel room. I really didn’t want to admit I knew them, let alone had given birth to them. We expected better from our children and their conduct certainly didn’t bring honor to our name. Unfortunately, their behavior, while unacceptable, was a somewhat unavoidable and unpleasant part of their growing up. Fortunately, those times of boundary testing are long over and I am now proud that they bear my name.

Those thoughts came to me after our visiting pastor opened worship with these words: “May we begin our service as we live our lives—in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” His words lifted me until I felt them convict me. “As we live our lives…”  Once home from church, I asked myself if I truly live my life in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, or only worship in their names. As they see me throughout the day, can the holy trio proudly say, “That’s our girl—she bears our name!” or, rather than claiming me as one of their own, would they just as soon say I belong to the other team? While I worship and pray in the name of the Holy Trinity, I asked myself if I truly live my daily life in their names. Do any of us? Do we harbor anger and resentment in His name? Do we gossip or slight someone in His name? Do we ignore the homeless or swear at the guy who cut us off in His name? Are we rude to the waitress, curt with our spouse, or impatient with the children in His name? Of course not, but yet we do all of those things and more (at least I do).

Although we pray and worship in the name of the Holy Trinity, prayer and worship are not isolated events. The way we live is our offering to God and our behavior should always bring honor to His holy name. Today and every day, may we truly live our lives as we worship—in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!

Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more. [1 Thessalonians 4:1 (NLT)]

And this is his commandment: We must believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as he commanded us. Those who obey God’s commandments remain in fellowship with him, and he with them. And we know he lives in us because the Spirit he gave us lives in us. [1 John 3:23-24 (NLT)]

Copyright ©2016 jsjdevotions. All rights reserved.