When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. [Ephesians 4:29 (NCV)]
“What did she mean by that?” we might wonder. We know better than to make insensitive, unkind, or inappropriate remarks but what about when we think we’ve heard those same kinds of comments? Unfortunately, what we perceive is not necessarily what was meant or said. Sometimes, we over analyze the things we hear: the words chosen, the way they’re said, and even the speaker’s tone of voice. We may assign unkind intentions or hidden meanings that aren’t there. When we do that, we can easily find offense where none is intended.
Let’s face it, we all have had “foot in mouth” disease and said the wrong thing or the right thing the wrong way more than once. We’ve used poor choices of words, been politically incorrect, forgotten something we were supposed to remember or mentioned something we should have forgotten. We’ve called people by the wrong names and probably even asked a heavy-set woman when the baby’s due! We didn’t mean to hurt anyone; we were just being the imperfect people we are! I suspect most people are like me, not anywhere near clever enough for veiled messages and double meanings. Nevertheless, I can analyze someone else’s remarks as if they’ve spent hours choosing their words and practicing their delivery. When I think about it, if I’ve felt hurt or offended by another person’s words, it’s usually because of my own insecurities.
I never intend to say rude or thoughtless things but, unfortunately, it sometimes happens. Lord, let your Holy Spirit keep my foot out of my mouth. When in doubt, remind me that silence is always a good option. Just as I want others to give me the benefit of the doubt when I speak carelessly, show me how to be willing to do the same thing. May your Holy Spirit help me assume innocent intentions on the part of those whose words upset or offend me. Guide me so that I not only speak with love but listen with love, as well.
This does not mean that love is gullible, but that it does not think the worst (as is the way of the world). It retains its faith. Love is not deceived … but it is always ready to give the benefit of the doubt. [Leon Morris, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians 13]
My summer beach novel began with a man having a heart attack on a commuter train. For the next several pages, I was privy to the thoughts of his fellow passengers. They were annoyed and frustrated by the train’s unscheduled stop and saw the man’s collapse as a tremendous inconvenience. As they disembarked to find another way into the city, their thoughts were not of the dying man and his wife but of themselves and how their lives had been disrupted.
Although an acolyte usually lights the altar candles at our northern church, our pastor did it yesterday. He came out of the sacristy with an unlit brass candle lighter in his hand, reached up to the sanctuary lamp, removed its red glass globe and took it out of the holder. Using the sanctuary candle, he lit the candle lighter before using it to light the altar candles. After returning the sanctuary lamp to its rightful place on the wall, he explained that, although there had been several books of matches in the sacristy, they all were empty. No one seems to smoke anymore and, being new to our parish, he had no idea where matches might be stored. A resourceful man, he solved the problem perfectly.
“Let Christ be first in your thoughts in the morning and last in your thoughts at night,” were the words at the bottom of an Our Daily Bread devotion. A great way to bookend our day, it makes sense to have our first thoughts of the morning and the last at night to be of Christ. Nevertheless, I wonder about all those hours between the opening and shutting of our eyes. What should be first in our thoughts then?
There is an old parable about a small sparrow, lying flat on his back in the middle of the road with his little feet raised in the air. An elephant comes by and asks him what he is doing. “I’m holding up the sky,” is the small bird’s response. ”Hah,” scoffs the elephant, “What good can you possibly do with those skinny weak legs?” The tiny bird replies, “Well, one does what one can. One does what one can!”
I have a friend who describes herself as being a “Birth and Resurrectionist.” Her idea of Christianity simply consists of church attendance on Christmas and Easter (maybe), with an occasional funeral or wedding thrown in.
Devotions of the Heart 