And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. … If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:12,14-15 (NLT)]
It’s been nearly 50 years, but I’ll never forget that day when, out of anger and fear, I vowed, “I’ll never forgive him!” My husband and I had taken our three children shopping for school clothes. While I was busy with the eldest, my husband said he’d take the other two for a walk through the mall. Unknown to me, the three-year-old had convinced his father that he’d stay at the store, sit quietly in a little crawl-through hole by the store’s entrance, and wait for his dad’s return. Unfortunately, my husband never told me of that decision. Having the attention span of a gnat, the little guy quickly grew bored watching shoppers. After wandering into the store to hide in the clothes racks, he looked for his brother and me. Not seeing us (since we were in a changing room), the independent guy decided we’d left without him and calmly went looking for us in the mall parking lot. While I was paying for our purchases, my husband returned with only one child in tow. Almost simultaneously, with panic in our voices, we asked one another, “Where’s Scooter?” My imagination went wild with all the horrible things that could have happened to the youngster. In an instant, I decided I’d never forgive my husband for his carelessness and that our marriage would be over!
After the saleswoman made a call to mall security, we learned that a concerned woman had spotted the boy wandering in the parking lot sobbing because he was sure we’d left for home without him. She took him to security where he was enjoying a red lollipop. Through God’s good graces, his misadventure had a happy ending, but what if it hadn’t? While angrily deciding I’d never forgive my husband, it never occurred to me that he’d be hard put to forgive himself if our son was harmed in any way!
I thought of that episode after reading about a 5-year-old severely autistic child who’d wandered out of his house and was found drowned in a nearby pond. A few days later, I learned of a critically injured three-year old who’d fallen out of an industrial mowing tractor and been run over by his father. Unlike our story, those stories had sad endings. Several years ago, a friend’s grandchild died in another tragic accident. Wanting to go on a ride with his dad, the toddler had quietly left the house and was standing in the driveway when his father backed over the youngster. That accident ended up destroying a family through divorce and then the father’s suicide. Apparently, neither parent could forgive the other nor could they forgive themselves. I sometimes think of how my husband and I narrowly escaped a similar ending that day in the mall. Would we have forgiven ourselves and one another? How will the family of the child run over by that lawn mower or the parents of that special-needs child cope? Will they forgive each other? Will they ever forgive themselves? Or, as happened with our friend’s family, will one tragedy lead to others?
C.S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” Indeed, forgiveness isn’t easy and, sometimes, it seems nearly impossible. Nevertheless, we ask God to forgive us in the way we forgive others. It is hypocritical for us to ask God to forgive our sins if we withhold forgiveness from anyone else. Unless we want God to pick and choose among our sins and failings, we cannot pick and choose among the actions of those who’ve failed us. We don’t get to forgive the little transgressions and withhold forgiveness on the big ones unless we want God to do the same with us.
Instead of a mall cop and a three-year-old with a red lollipop, what if our story hadn’t ended well? I’d like to think that I would have forgiven my husband and our marriage would have survived and thrived. Only God knows—I certainly don’t and I thank Him for not putting me to the test!
To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. [C.S. Lewis]
The hatred between Jews and Samaritans began in 930 BC when Solomon’s son Rehoboam was king and the united kingdom of Israel divided. Ten tribes rebelled and made Jeroboam king of the northern kingdom of Israel whose capital was Samaria. Only the tribes of Judah and Benjamin along with the Levitical priesthood remained in the southern kingdom of Judah. Fearing a change of alliance if people returned to Jerusalem to worship, Jeroboam set up his own worship centers in the north.
Along with sins of the heart like greed, pride, coveting, anger, and envy, we have jealousy. It’s hard to make a clear distinction between jealousy and envy and, in most cases, the words can be used interchangeably. The difference seems to be that the discontent and resentment of envy is focused outward toward something we desire and the person who has it while the discontent and resentment of jealousy is focused inward toward something we have and want to keep for ourselves. For example, Rachel was envious of Leah because she had given birth to Jacob’s children but both sisters were jealous of one another whenever Jacob slept with the other one. Most often used in the context of romantic relationships and often coming from insecurity, jealousy is a mix of overwhelming possessiveness with a little paranoia on the side.
While the Hebrew word translated as covet, chamad, can mean “take pleasure in,” it also means “ungoverned selfish desire.” Chamad ranges from wholesome delight to illicit craving. It’s not a stretch to see how taking pleasure in something that isn’t yours can lead to desiring it and wanting to acquire it. When David saw Bathsheba on the rooftop, he delighted in her beauty but that delight grew into such desire that he took what belonged to his neighbor. When Achan saw the riches that were to be set aside for God, he coveted the wealth for himself and stole it. When Elisha’s servant Gehazi saw the wealth Namaan brought to his master, he was filled with desire for what wasn’t his to take. Coveting the wealth that Elisha refused to accept, Gehazi chased after Namaan, concocted a lie, and took some of that wealth for himself.
Just as we must not become stumbling blocks to others on their faith journey, we must be cautious of the stumbling blocks we encounter on ours. The Greek word usually translated as “stumbling block” was skandalon. It originally referred to the stick that served as the trigger for a snare trap but, eventually, scandalon developed two meanings. It was both a snare or trap that catches unsuspecting prey as well as something that trips a person and causes them to stumble and fall—in other words, a stumbling block. In both cases, the purpose of the scandalon is to catch its victim unaware!
Devotions of the Heart 