THE DASH

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. [Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV)]

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years. [Linda Ellis]

clock - ChicagoAfter scrutinizing the website for the umpteenth time in a futile search for the perfect gift for my daughter-in-law, I closed the iPad and announced, “What a waste of time! This is why God created checks and gift cards!” I remembered last Friday when both Linda Ellis’s poem “The Dash” was read and the recently deceased David Cassidy was mentioned. The former Partridge Family heartthrob’s last words were: “So much wasted time.” Indeed, too much time is wasted in unproductive activities or agonizing over what, in actuality, are trivial matters. Searching the same website, over and over, and expecting to find something different was certainly one of those.

Last Friday morning, I made better use of my time; after looking at a photo of a friend’s niece, I prayed for her. This two-year old, bald from undergoing chemotherapy for stage 4 cancer, was asleep in her mother’s arms and doesn’t understand that the chemicals making her so miserable are a last ditch effort to destroy the cancer that has ravaged her body. Later that day, I attended a Celebration of Life for a man who, less than a week earlier, set out for an afternoon ride on his motorcycle never knowing that would be his final ride in life. Absent from that memorial service were our senior pastor and his wife. They’d been in a car accident earlier in the day. Like the toddler and the motorcyclist, they never expected what came hurtling into their lives. One child is fighting for her life, one man lost his life, and one couple escaped with their lives.

Many of us might say we have too little time but the quantity of time granted us and our loved ones, whether just days or several decades, is exactly the right amount of time and has been determined by someone far greater than we are. The way we spend those precious moments, however, is our choice alone. Unfortunately, David Cassidy had it right: “so much wasted time.” When the book of Ecclesiastes tells us there is a season for everything, wasting time is never mentioned as one of them. We can fritter away our minutes in all sorts of futile ways—anger, nitpicking, regret, lethargy, worry, complaint, conflict and fretting are just a few—or we can use them generously, joyfully, thankfully and with love.

This week we celebrate my mother-in-law’s 101st birthday; her dash has been long and well spent. While she has been blessed with exceptional longevity, last Friday was a reminder that we all have expiration dates and none of us know that day. In many cases, it will be far sooner than expected. The dates we are here, however, are not as important as how we spend the time between those dates. How will we spend our dash?

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. [Psalm 90:12 (ESV)]

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MARA

Monarch butterfly - queen anne's laceBut she said, “Don’t call me Naomi; call me Bitter. The Strong One has dealt me a bitter blow. I left here full of life, and God has brought me back with nothing but the clothes on my back. Why would you call me Naomi? God certainly doesn’t. The Strong One ruined me.” [Ruth 1:20-21 (MSG)]

The final lesson of learning to be independent – widowhood…is the hardest lesson of all. [Anne Morrow Lindberg]

When we first meet her in the book of Ruth, the widowed Naomi does not seem the sort of unpleasant meddlesome mother-in-law about whom jokes are made; she is much loved and respected by her daughters-in-law. After great tragedy strikes their family, Naomi’s widowed daughter-in-law Ruth chooses to leave home, return with her to Israel, and adopt the God of the Israelites. Naomi must have been a very special woman to have a daughter-in-law so determined to stay at her side. By the time the widows arrive in Bethlehem, however, we see another side to the older woman. “Don’t call me Naomi,” she says, telling people to call her Mara, meaning bitter. For Naomi and Ruth, circumstances improve when Ruth meets and marries Boaz and presents her mother-in-law with a grandchild. Unfortunately, not every widow has a Boaz to act as her redeemer and provide a happy ending to the story.

I have a group of widowed friends who, if comparing tragic sob stories with Naomi, could put hers to shame. They lost as much or more and have endured as many hardships and challenges as did Naomi. Nevertheless, in spite of having their lives turned upside down by their losses, none of them would call themselves bitter. While they have their moments of complaint, sorrow and loneliness, their faith strengthens them and allows them to face their new reality with an eagerness and joy that does not depend on outer circumstances. Their grief hasn’t left them bitter; if anything, it has made them better. They radiate a sense of peace, purpose and zest for life because their redeemer isn’t a relative who has chosen to take care of them; their Redeemer is Jesus Christ!

I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to lose a spouse but I imagine it’s like being ripped in half. Someday, either my husband or I will face the grief and uncertainty that comes with widowhood. When the “we” of our lives becomes just “me,” loneliness, anger and resentment can easily follow. We can become bitter or allow our faith to fill us with hope. Death may take away a spouse, but Jesus will take that spouse away from death! I pray that, in our grief, we will be strengthened by our faith in God’s purpose and receive the consolation offered by our Comforter, the Holy Spirit.

Most loving God, you know the pain and sorrow of death; mercifully hear our prayer for those who mourn the death of their beloved. The nights are lonely and the days are too long. Comfort them and bring an end to the days of tears. Bless them and bring an end to their days of sorrow. Renew them with the joy of life and bring to an end their days of mourning. Let the bond of love which you have for your people be the foundation of their hope that love never ends and that precious moments with our beloved are forever held dear in our hearts. Amen. [Vienna Cobb Anderson]

The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught. [John 14:26-17 (MSG)]

You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. [Matthew 5:4 (MSG)]

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TWICE A DAY ISN’T ENOUGH!

Peacocks - albinoThey [the Levites] are to stand every morning and evening to thank and praise the Lord. [1 Chronicles 23:30 (NLV)]

Several years ago, when my daughter and grand visited, we had a fun-filled day with excursions to both the botanic gardens and a private animal preserve. When offering grace over dinner, we thanked God for our meal and the many plants and animals we’d seen that day. Later that evening, I realized it wasn’t just the abundance and beauty of God’s creation for which I was thankful. I was grateful for the look of amazement on my grand’s face while petting an iguana and feeding a zebra, for the volunteer workers who make places like botanic gardens and animal refuges possible and for the donors who fund their cause. I was thankful for the people who rescue mistreated and abandoned animals and the grocery stores that donate food to feed those animals. I was thankful for Legos and the talented artist who created the delightful Lego sculptures at the gardens, the GPS that led us to the remote refuge, seeing peacocks with their beautiful plumage, and our laughter as we played silly card games after dinner. As the list continued, I realized how incredibly blessed we were, not just that particular day, but every day. After all, every day with which we’re blessed becomes an extraordinary day! The Levites were required to give thanks at least twice a day but twice a day hardly seems enough.

Father, forgive us when we fail to properly thank you for the many blessings in our lives. A few words are never enough to express our appreciation for the way you make our ordinary days so very extraordinary.

Gratitude is an offering precious in the sight of God, and it is one that the poorest of us can make and be not poorer but richer for having made it. [A. W. Tozer]

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and sing praises to Your name, O Most High. It is good to tell of Your loving-kindness in the morning, and of how faithful You are at night, with harps, and with music of praise. For You have made me glad by what You have done, O Lord. I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. [Psalm 92:1-4 (NLV)]

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NEVER TO FORGET

Oh, how sweet the light of day, And how wonderful to live in the sunshine! Even if you live a long time, don’t take a single day for granted. Take delight in each light-filled hour, Remembering that there will also be many dark days And that most of what comes your way is smoke. [Ecclesiastes 11:7-8 (MSG)]

viceroy butterflyIn a “Family Circus” cartoon, written by Bil and Jeff Keane, Dolly wakes up and says, “I hope today is one of those days I never wanna forget.” Amen to that, girl! Isn’t that what we all hope for every day? What will it take for Dolly to have one of those days? What will it take for us to have a day we never want to forget?

With far more days behind me than are ahead, I want every day to be worth remembering. Nevertheless, some days are better than others and get pulled out of the memory file more often. Oddly, they aren’t the red-letter days—the weddings, graduations, birthdays, performances or holidays. Maybe it’s the unrealistic expectations or busyness that often accompany special occasions, but we rarely enjoy them as much as we thought we would. The kind of days about which Dolly is speaking, the days we never want to forget, usually come when we least expect them.

I had one such day last week as the family gathered together in California. It wasn’t, however, the special anniversary dinner party hosted by our children when everyone was dressed up and on good behavior. It came later in the week when our children and grands frolicked in the pool and had a water fight. Armed with water blasters, the youngsters squealed with delight as they soaked their parents and were drenched in return. My eyes leaked joyfully as I watched my loved ones laugh and play; it was raucous, rowdy, chaotic and absolutely wonderful. That was “one of those days” and it has been tucked within easy reach in my memory file. Then again, seeing two goldfinches perched on my windowsill first thing this morning was memory worthy, as well. In the end, it’s really not the events that make the day; it’s our attitude toward them!

As for those days we’d rather not remember—I confess to having had days, weeks and even a few months I’d rather not remember. While not exactly forgotten, by the grace of God, those memories have lost their sting and hurt no longer. They’re simply “once was enough” experiences that helped make me who I am. Placed in the back of my memory file, they’re retrieved only when absolutely necessary. Until then, I’ll enjoy today and, with God’s love and guidance, make it one of those days I’ll never want to forget.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the gift of this day—guide us in our walk so that we make it a day truly worth remembering.

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Don’t skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it, For there’s neither work to do nor thoughts to think In the company of the dead, where you’re most certainly headed. [Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 (MSG)]

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A FRAGRANT OFFERING

Offer the other lamb in the evening, along with the same offerings of flour and wine as in the morning. It will be a pleasing aroma, a special gift presented to the Lord. [Exodus 29:41 (NLT)]

But the internal organs and the legs must first be washed with water. Then the priest will burn the entire sacrifice on the altar as a burnt offering. It is a special gift, a pleasing aroma to the Lord. [Leviticus 1:9 (NLT)]

GARDENIAThe gardenias were blooming. The aroma of those beautiful flowers filled the air as I walked that morning and I paused in my walk just to inhale and relish the pleasant scent.

In the Old Testament, the Hebrews were instructed to offer sacrificial burnt offerings on their altars as gifts to God, making a “pleasing aroma to the Lord.” As a vegetarian, I found it difficult to picture how the odor of burned meat could be considered pleasant. That morning, however, I finally understood the verse’s meaning. It wasn’t the sacrifice of meat that smelled good to God; it was the prayers that accompanied the burnt offerings that made the pleasing aroma.

As I breathed in the scent of the flowers, I wondered, “Is this how God feels when He hears our prayers?” I want my prayers to be as fragrant and pleasing to God as the gardenias were to me. Perhaps gardenia isn’t your favorite scent; maybe it’s the aroma of fresh baked ginger cookies or, in my husband’s case, fresh cooked bacon. Either way, let your prayers be as pleasing to God as your favorite aromas are to you! By the way, I have a sneaky suspicion that praise and thanksgiving smell best to Him; whiny complaints probably smell a bit like burnt toast!

O Lord, please accept my prayers as a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving. May you always find them sweet smelling.

Accept my prayer as incense offered to you, and my upraised hands as an evening offering. [Psalm 141:2 (NLT)]

And when he took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. [Revelation 5:8 (NLT)]

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INTO THIN AIR

The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away! May the name of the Lord be praised. [Job 1:21b (GW)]

tiger swallowtail butterflyAfter struggling with the writing of a devotion, it was finally finished. Thankful, I listed its completion in my gratitude journal that night. The next morning, I discovered it was lost—vanished into thin air and nowhere to be found (and believe me, I tried)! Looking back, I probably cut the devotion from my “Work On” file but got distracted and never pasted it into my “To Post” file. Unfortunately, by the time I discovered my error, both files had been saved in versions without the words over which I’d labored so long. When it became clear that those paragraphs truly had vanished into the black hole of my computer, I was annoyed with myself and upset, upset enough to want that thanks entry crossed out in my gratitude journal!

“Hold it!” said that inner voice. “Do the troubles of today negate the joys of yesterday? Just because you no longer have something, is that reason to stop being thankful for once having it? Remember, thanking Him for everything means for both gain and loss!” Oops. Sometimes, God teaches me lessons the hard way!

We all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes cause us to lose far more than several hours and a few paragraphs—we can lose friendships, marriages, custody, jobs, health or houses. Sometimes, errors can be repaired and lost things recovered but not everything can be mended or retrieved. Nevertheless, we must never stop being thankful for what once was, no matter how briefly we held it. It’s not God’s fault when we mismanage His blessings. That we can learn from our mistakes is more reason for gratitude!

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for all that has happened in our lives—the good, the bad and everything in between. Some events were welcomed as beautiful gifts and others were less appreciated as lessons, but we were blessed by them all.

I’m most proud of the blessings that God has bestowed upon me, in my life. He’s given me the vision to truly see that you can fall down, but you can still get back up. Hopefully I’ll learn from my mistakes and have the opportunity to strengthen and improve the next thing I do. [Martin Lawrence]

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God’s will in Christ Jesus that you do this. [1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (GW)]

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God—those whom he has called according to his plan. [Romans 8:28 (GW)]

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