Category Archives: Family, Friends & Fellowship

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September 8, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Love & Works, Obedience, Today: Make it Count

DINNER GUESTS

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place. … to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great. [Job 2:11-13 (ESV)]

Tanzania sculptureLabor Day weekend at the cottage was to be our last opportunity to enjoy time at the lake until next summer. Family would be visiting most of the time and the little guys were sure to keep us on the run. Closing the house for the season also meant a lot of chores: the house cleaned, sporting equipment brought up from the lake, deck furniture scrubbed and stowed, windows washed, the pantry emptied, and so on. The last thing either of us wanted was more work.

Before the kids and grands arrived, we had one day to quietly (and leisurely) finish up some tasks. It was also the only day we’d be free to spend any time with our neighbors until our return next June. The husband is suffering from a debilitating form of dementia so time with them is precious. By next summer, the man we’ve come to know and love may no longer even remember us. The easiest thing for us would have been to take them to dinner at a local restaurant but the noise would make it difficult for our hard-of-hearing friend and the crowd would cause him discomfort. While dinner at our house was the obvious solution, neither my husband nor I felt we had the time to spend shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning up.

The Bible is filled with stories of friendship and people who found time for one another: Ruth and Naomi, Jonathan and David, Elisha and Elijah, Abraham and Lot, and Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Even Job’s three friends spent several days with him sitting at his side. A friend loves at all times, not just when it is convenient, so we knew we had to spend time encouraging and loving on our neighbors. Somewhat reluctantly, we invited them to dinner. Panic briefly set in as we scoured the kitchen to see what provisions we had. Cheese and homemade cookies for the appetizer and dessert were found in the freezer. We had enough tomatoes for a salad and the refrigerator held the ingredients for two easy make-ahead side dishes. A quick trip into town would provide the entrée in the way of an already prepared rotisserie chicken. Typically, our dinner party preparations are more complex, involving lots of prep work, but the Holy Spirit reminded us that friendship has nothing to do with an impeccably set table or a gourmet meal; friendship is breaking bread together in love. Perfection isn’t necessary in friendship; presence, however, is. Friendship is accepting and loving one another in our imperfection. While it’s good to remember friends in our thoughts and prayers, real friendship actually sits beside them whenever possible. Jesus gave his life for his friends and few of us will ever be asked to do as much as that. A little inconvenience now and then is a small price to pay for the blessings of friendship and the opportunity to share Christ’s love.

Father, thank you for the blessing of friends—brothers and sisters connected to one another, not by blood, but by their love for one another. Thank you for gifting us with people with whom we share good times and bad, sorrow and joy, laughter and tears, health and illness. May we never hesitate to be as generous with our time as our friends are with theirs. Guide us to love in the way we hope to be loved and to do for one another in the way we want to have done for us.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. [Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)]

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. [1 Peter 4:8-9 (ESV)]

 

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August 25, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Knowing Him, Love & Works, Obedience

THE FIRST MUST BE LAST

He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” [Mark 9:35 (NLT)]

Jesus’ disciples believed him to be the long-awaited and promised Messiah. Like most of the Jews, they originally believed that the Messiah would bring a new kingdom into this world: a new government for Israel that was not under the rule of Rome. The disciples began to think about their status in this future kingdom, much like close supporters of a presidential candidate start thinking about an ambassadorship or even a place in the presidential cabinet. The gospels tell us that they argued over which of them was the greatest and who deserved the best position in this new realm. The mother of James and John even had the nerve to ask Jesus to give her sons special status in his coming kingdom. She was like a presidential candidate’s financial backer who requests that a family member be given a cushy or high profile job in the new government. It seemed that everyone around Jesus was jockeying for a choice position in his kingdom.

It took a great deal of time and teaching, however, before the disciples truly grasped that the Kingdom of God of which Jesus spoke was not going to be here on earth. Jesus told his disciples that leadership would not be determined by power and influence but by service. The good leader is not the most prominent, ruthless or esteemed person, said Jesus; the good leader is the servant. This was a new concept of leadership: attending to the needs of people instead of using them for your own purposes, caring for others instead of having them care for you. Instead of looking for ways to earn honors and privileges, Jesus tells us that we should be looking for ways to serve others and minister to their needs.

Just because you’re in the driver’s seat … doesn’t mean you have to run people over. [From “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow]

But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as ransom of many.” [Matthew 20:26-28 (NLT)]

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July 18, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Fruit of the Spirit, Holidays & Holy Days, Holy Spirit, Joy, Salvation: A New You, Today: Make it Count

HAVE PLENTY OF FRUIT (Family Reunions)

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But Martha was busy with all the work to be done. She went in and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me alone to do all the work? Tell her to help me.” [Luke 10:40 (NCV)]

Thank you, God, for blessings received: no injuries, not a drop of rain fell, nothing broke that couldn’t be fixed, and I never ran out of fruit. It’s summer and, for me, that means family and friends gather at our lake house, cousins run wild, and havoc reigns. The last holiday weekend found eleven of us (five being children under ten) gathered under one roof. It was chaotic and noisy and wonderful. Thank you, God, for family and for showing me that people, not perfection, are what’s important.

At the end of the weekend, my daughter-in-law remarked that I’m different from when she first visited the lake over twelve years ago. Of course I am—I’m twelve years older and four more grandchildren wiser! Those additional years and family members finally convinced me that I don’t run a five-star bed and breakfast and I am neither Martha Stewart nor God. I’ve accepted that our house is not a luxury lodge and my guests will have to pick up their own damp towels, serve themselves, clear the table, and prepare some of the food. Recognizing that I’ll never be Martha, we use paper plates, plastic silverware, disposable cups, and a vinyl tablecloth. Most important, I’ve stopped thinking I can be God. Oh, I knew I wasn’t God twelve years ago, but that didn’t keep me from striving for a godlike perfection nor did it keep me from exhausting myself and those around me as I tried to orchestrate events so everything was flawless and everyone content. I no longer feel responsible for other people’s happiness. I can’t read minds and anticipate every need; I can’t solve every argument; I can’t comfort every crying child; and I’m not responsible for the weather.

Twelve years ago, I was like Martha, not Stewart but the Bible’s Martha: always busy with arrangements for my guests. My guess is that Martha’s preparations didn’t need to be as elaborate as they were; I know mine didn’t. The overburdened Martha was annoyed that her sister Mary was enjoying time sitting at the feet of Jesus. If Martha was anything like me, she probably wouldn’t have let Mary do much of anything in the kitchen anyway. I know I didn’t share my domestic duties well but, like Martha, resented it when I missed out on time with my guests.

I’ve learned that catching fireflies is more important than laundry and a walk with a grand has priority over washed dishes. I wonder if Martha, after Jesus chided her for misplaced priorities, put down the dish towel and joined her sister. Some things can wait—dirty dishes and crumbs on the counter are just two of them. Other things, like time with Jesus or time with family and friends, are precious and must be treasured whenever the opportunity arises.

It was more than just years and additional family members that changed me from a Martha into a Mary—it was prayer and the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. While God didn’t miraculously start doing my chores, He did teach me to accept my limitations and to stop striving for perfection. Life is so much easier when I share the everyday tasks with others and leave the important stuff to Him. I’ve really changed because of my never-ending basket of fruit. Not the one on the kitchen counter—that one was empty in no time. I mean the one I have in my heart—the one the Holy Spirit keeps filled with an endless supply of His fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Action expresses priorities. [Mahatma Gandhi]

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things. Only one thing is important. Mary has chosen the better thing, and it will never be taken away from her.” [Luke 10:41-42 (NCV)]

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July 13, 2015

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Challenges & Difficulty, Faith & Hope, Family, Friends & Fellowship, God's Grace & Love, Holy Spirit, Miracles, Prayer, Thanks & Praise

ANSWERED PRAYERS

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And in the same way—by our faith—the Holy Spirit helps us with our daily problems and in our praying. For we don’t even know what we should pray for nor how to pray as we should, but the Holy Spirit prays for us with such feeling that it cannot be expressed in words. [Romans 8:26 (TLB)]

Thank you, God, for answered prayers.

While it was obvious the relationship was in deep trouble, I knew neither how nor why it had happened nor what could to be done to remedy it. Realizing that this situation required divine intervention, I took it to God in prayer. As I poured out my distress, I was unable to articulate the problem or think of a solution. I just knew something was damaged that desperately needed to be fixed—how I didn’t know. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit put my lament into words as I dumped the frayed relationship in God’s lap, trusting Him to do the necessary mending. Recognizing that the situation was way beyond my job description, I stopped trying to repair what was torn or attempting to patch up what was tattered; that was clearly a task for God. While offering my wordless prayers and waiting patiently for His heavenly hand, I continued to love the person and did my best to keep the situation from further unraveling—the rest was up to Him. Praise the Lord, God came through! I don’t know how He did it, but He did!

Did the other person have a change of heart and attitude? Yes, indeed. What about me? Although I wasn’t aware of it, I think God may have made a few alterations on me, as well. All I know for certain is that prayers, even inarticulate wordless ones, can and do get answered.

We’re often perplexed about how and for what we should pray. It’s not always possible to voice our fears, sorrow, distress and longings. Thank you, God, for giving us the Holy Spirit who knows our hearts and makes our needs known to you. And, thank you, God, for answered prayers.

The best prayers have often more groans than words. [John Bunyan]

Prayer is not eloquence, but earnestness; not the definition of helplessness, but the feeling of it; not figures of speech, but earnestness of soul. [Hannah More]

But you, dear friends, must build up your lives ever more strongly upon the foundation of our holy faith, learning to pray in the power and strength of the Holy Spirit. [Jude 1:20 (TLB)]

 

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June 30, 2015

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Bible Stories, Challenges & Difficulty, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Love & Works

JOB’S FRIENDS

In trouble like this I need loyal friends – whether I’ve forsaken God or not. But you, my friends, you deceive me like streams that go dry when no rain comes. [Job 6:14-15 (GNT)]

My closest friends look at me with disgust; those I loved most have turned against me. [Job 19:19 (GNT)]

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Job was enduring unbearable suffering; surely he could count on his friends for some support! His friends came to him but, instead of the compassion and encouragement that Job needed, they opened their mouths and began to criticize the poor man. They immediately assumed the worst of their friend. It was all Job’s fault; God was angry with him and punishing him for his sins! Surely, Job’s past behavior hadn’t given his friends reason to suspect him of sinfulness; in fact, Job is described as a “blameless” man—a man of “complete integrity.” His friends, however, were quick to believe the worst of him. They became accusers instead of comforters and judges instead of supportive friends. Granted, there are a few nuggets of Biblical truth hidden in their long accusing speeches but Job needed sympathy and reassurance rather than theological arguments.

Friends like Job’s aren’t the kind we need in a crisis. They are the people in the basements of our lives: the ones who jeer and yell catcalls. Instead of helping us up, they kick us when we’re down and may even delight in our failings. Nevertheless, we tend to keep basement friends around, probably because they often praise us when we don’t live up to our potential and offer encouragement when we’re on the wrong path. They frequently tempt us or distract us from God’s plan. They may be interesting and fun, but they’re of little use when trouble hits.

Job needed a cheering section, not a jeering section. He needed friends who would lift him when he was down and strengthen him in his weakness. We all need friends in the bleachers of our lives who will cheer for us. Good friends, however, do more than encourage us. While they see our potential for greatness and offer praise, they also tell us the truth. They can be trusted to give us an honest critique of our conduct. Tactfully (and with love), they will tell us when our behavior is inadequate or unacceptable and they’ll hold us accountable. Most important, unlike Job’s friends, good friends know how to sit silently with us in our sorrow, affliction and even shame. They’ll hold our hands, wipe our tears, and pray with and for us. A good friend will help us find strength in our weakness and hope in our despair.

Lord, guide us in our friendships. Lead us to befriend the people who will make us better and show us how to be the kind of friends who, in turn, will bring out the best in others.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. [Henri Nouwen]

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. [Proverbs 18:24 (NLT)]

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June 22, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Holidays & Holy Days, Money & Wealth, Today: Make it Count, Wisdom & Guidance

GRANDPAS -Father’s Day 2015

If God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks. If God doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap. It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don’t you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves? [Psalm 127:1-2 (MSG)]

6-22-150402cropOld friends were in town and several couples had gotten together for dinner. The men (now all retired and grandpas) got to talking. Instead of talking about work, which is what they used to do, or sports, which they still do, they started talking about their various grandchildren. I loved hearing them go on about teething, toys, Disney movies and the various cute sayings and fantastic achievements of their beloved grands. In short, they sounded just like my women friends and I did some forty plus years ago when we spoke about our children. These men clearly loved the grandpa gig and they chatted about it with the same enthusiasm they used to save for their golf games and the play-offs.

This group of men is from a generation of fathers that weren’t very “hands-on” in the way of baby and child care when their children were young. Parental roles were more defined then: our husbands were the breadwinners and we women were the homemakers, in charge of the house and children. Don’t get me wrong! None of them were neglectful; they are men of faith and all were attentive and loving fathers. They were, however, extremely busy in furthering their careers and attaining financial security for their families. Good fathers all, they just weren’t as involved in the diapers, doctor’s appointments, feeding, classroom parties, lessons and homework as many of today’s dads are. Their own children had done all of the same things their grandchildren were doing, but this was the first time these olds guys were taking part in it. I’m glad they all have grandchildren so they can now experience some of the joy they missed the first time around. Grandchildren are, indeed, God’s reward for growing older (and for not killing one’s teenagers, but that’s another meditation!)

Everything turned out well for these men’s families; it didn’t for many. These men have been blessed with a second chance; not all will be. We need to make sure none of us get so busy building our houses that we neglect building a home for those in it. Unless God is part of the building and guarding of our home and family, we will have nothing. It’s fine to be ambitious, but not to the extent that our spirit, body or family is neglected. Financial security is meaningless if the home life suffers. What good are accomplishments, honors, wealth or fame if we lose our souls, physical health, or families? If we don’t trust our lives to God, we will be anxious and have no rest. If we trust him, he will surely provide and give us the rest and peace we so desire.

Children are, indeed, a gift from God. And grandchildren are the frosting on His cake!

Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you’re keeping them all in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls – family, health, friends, integrity – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life. [From “Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas” by James Patterson]

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you; you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep. [Psalm 127:3-5 (MSG)]