Then Solomon said, “Don’t kill the child! Give it to the first woman—she is its real mother.” [1 Kings 3:27 (GNT)]
Immediately after finishing yesterday’s devotion about conflict and prayer, I received a call from a friend whose 11-year old granddaughter, Anna, has osteosarcoma (bone cancer). Having undergone chemotherapy for the past two months, she is scheduled for surgery this week. In the best case scenario, her knee and part of her femur will be removed and replaced by a metal prostheses; the worst case scenario involves complete amputation of the leg. In either case, more chemo and at least six to twelve months of physical therapy will follow.
As distressed as this grandfather is by his grand’s cancer, he is even more upset by her parents’ behavior. Divorced several years ago, they decided upon an “every other week” type of joint custody. Although this often sounds like a win-win solution, court battles about custody issues have continued since the divorce. Rather than a good compromise, their custody agreement is more like an, “If I can’t have her all of the time, neither can you!” sort of thing. Their story reminds me of the two women claiming to be the mother of the same infant who came to King Solomon to settle their dispute. As the women argued, King Solomon called for his sword and ordered that the child be cut in half so that each one could have a part of him. “No!” screamed one mother who said to give him to the other woman so that he could live. “Go ahead,” said the other woman since that way neither mother would have the baby. Solomon immediately knew the identity of the real mother—the woman who was willing to give up her own flesh and blood so that he could live. Real parents are willing to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of their children, even if that means losing them. Now, with a seriously ill youngster, instead of putting aside their differences and forming a united wall of protection around their daughter, Anna’s parents brought their dispute not just into the court but also into the hospital. Because tempers flared and things got so contentious, only that week’s custodial parent can be with the girl in hospital.
Yesterday, I wrote about turning to Scripture and prayer as a way of handling disputes. In this case, although counselling and the courts haven’t worked, Scripture and prayer haven’t been tried. It is in God’s word and prayer that these parents would find true wisdom, strength and the directions to sacrifice, forgive, and love in the way that the mother in Solomon’s court did. I know both of Anna’s parents love her but they are unwilling to put aside their anger, resentment, and selfish desires for the sake of their child. Instead of being sliced in half by a sword, an eleven year old girl is being torn apart by two adults who are more interested in winning every dispute than they are in finding a way to live in peace and bring healing to their daughter. So invested in winning, they can’t see the real loser in their hateful war. Unfortunately, while their situation is extreme, Anna is not the only child of divorce being used as a pawn in her parents’ game of revenge.
Father in Heaven, forgive us when we look to our needs and desires instead of to you. Watch over and strengthen, not just Anna, but all children caught in the middle of their parents’ battles. May we all learn to call to you in prayer, turn to your word for wisdom, be willing to sacrifice our desires for the good of others, and continually act with forgiveness and love.
In speaking about prayer recently, our pastor referred to the 2009 church-wide assembly of our denomination. Knowing that the agenda included some divisive topics, the Presiding Bishop asked the delegates to spend the 50 days leading up to the convention devoted to both prayer and the study of Scripture. Once the Assembly convened, there was heated discussion among the delegates about the writing of a statement on human sexuality. The debate about this controversial subject was unique because the Presiding Bishop, Mark Hanson, halted the proceedings every twenty minutes to lead the assembly in prayer. Delegates on opposing sides, who had been vehemently arguing minutes earlier, often would lay hands on one another and pray for each other during these breaks. Praying for unity in spite of their disagreements, the delegates showed respect and love for one another. Although the final statement passed by only one vote and there is still disagreement within the church about it, without those pauses for prayer, that debate could have caused far more damage to the church than did the tornado that accompanied the assembly.
I found an odd synchronicity in my morning’s reading. The verse for the day was Matthew 7:12, the Golden Rule: “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” Following that was a story by Christian author and speaker Lysa Terkeurst. She wrote about speaking to a group when a woman walked up on stage, stood next to her, and then leaned into her. Standing before an audience of 6,500 women, unsure of what to do, the author simply put her arm around the woman and continued speaking. The woman later said she needed God and thought if she got close enough to the Christian speaker, she just might feel Him. The third portion of my reading included the above selection from C.S. Lewis’ writings.
After more than a year without a pastor, our northern church is finally getting its new minister. He will be stepping into some very big and well-worn shoes. The last pastor was at his post for over forty years. To say that the congregation has become somewhat set in their ways is probably an understatement. “But we’ve always done it that way!” and “He’s not like Pastor S!” are bound to be said more than once.
