If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day. Don’t give the Devil a chance. [Ephesians 4:26-27 (GNT)]
But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion, and hateful feelings. … The peace that Christ gives is to guide you in the decisions you make. [Colossians 3: 8a,15a (GNT)]
Anger itself isn’t the sin; it’s what we do with it that can make it a sin. [jsjdevotions]
For several years, our lake home has been for sale. Although one potential buyer has been circling our house for nearly two years, he’s had absolutely nothing good to say about the property, our broker or even us. Granted, this is his method of negotiation, but there was no need to be unpleasant, rude and argumentative. In good faith, we’d entered into an informal agreement with him but he hadn’t honored his side of the agreement. As I was writing yesterday’s meditation about anger, he finally made an offer on the house. Had it been made by anyone else, we would have been interested. Made by him, however, a man who’s been both disagreeable and uncompromising, our first reaction was “Absolutely, no!” We’d taken such a dislike to this party (someone we’ve never even met) that we didn’t want him to have the house no matter what he paid.
God does seem to have an uncanny sense of timing! There I was, writing about not being led by anger and yet we were letting anger lead us into making a foolish decision. Realizing it was nothing personal—just the way this man negotiates and probably deals with everyone else in his life—we made the deal. We didn’t have to like or respect him to sell him our house.
Anger and resentment, however, were still lingering in our hearts. While the buyer may have won the battle, we could still win the war. We didn’t have to tell him how to winterize the house, ready the hoists and piers for winter, or the quirky way the fireplace works. We weren’t obligated to share the names of the people who service the boat, mow, weed, trim trees, wash windows, and fill the propane. Although we sold the house furnished, much was not included in the inventory list. We didn’t have to leave him the extra light fixtures and light bulbs, spare glass for the fireplace, and books of directions for every appliance. It wasn’t necessary to leave the modem, water softener salt, hangers, fire extinguishers, extension cords, surge protectors, and directions for rigging the sailboat. We could take the children’s chairs and picnic table, crib, high chair, booster chairs, books, toys, games and the basketball backboard. The flash lights, coolers, grass seed, weed killer, and garden tools could have disappeared. Although we had no use for any of those things, out of spite, we were ready to take them to the Goodwill store or garbage dump before we’d leave anything for this man and his family.
Enjoying the taste of petty revenge, I went back to working on yesterday’s anger message. The Apostle Paul, the Holy Spirit and even my own words convicted me and that taste of revenge immediately turned sour. Clearly, by thinking of ways to strike back, we were still sinfully leading with anger. We realized that we’d never feel good about selling the house until we let go of our pique and desire to even the score. Instead of exacting revenge, we decided to give the buyers all of that stuff and plenty more.
Letting go of anger and forgiving those who offend us are the only way God wants us to live and they’re the only way I want to live. Last week, as we departed the lake house for our final time, instead of being angry, we were happy. We pictured a family with four young children who would move into the beautiful house we’ve enjoyed for 37 years. We thought of the wonderful memories they’ll build as their children learn to swim, water ski, sail, fish, make s’mores and catch fireflies! We also left two bottles of champagne chilling in the refrigerator, a photo book I made of the lake’s wildflowers, my nearly world-famous recipe for buttermilk pancakes (our guests’ favorite breakfast since 1979) and our blessings to the new owner and his family!
As I look out the window, I can see the cars and trucks speeding off to their various destinations. Meanwhile, I am at the gym, feverishly pumping away on the elliptical and going nowhere fast. What really annoys me is that, no matter where I put it, my Fitbit doesn’t fully credit me for my steps or distance. If I’m going to break a sweat and cover a couple of miles on that pitiless machine, I want credit for all my work! Next to me is my husband pedaling the stationary bike. Like me, he’s expending a great deal of energy to go absolutely nowhere and his Fitbit, like mine, won’t properly acknowledge his effort!
My doorbell rang and, by the time I got to the door the FedEx man was walking away, having left a large box on the porch. As he backed out of the driveway, I shouted a thanks and brought in my latest order from Amazon.
Writing about my granddaughter yesterday made me think about birth defects. In actuality, all of us have what could be called birth defects—it’s just that some are more obvious than others. While all of God’s children have defects, none are defective. I consider a young man at our Florida church. Cerebral palsy keeps him strapped into a wheel chair and his physical limitations are immense. There is, however, nothing defective about this bright young man. I ponder the enthusiastic grocery worker with Down’s syndrome. She may have an extra chromosome, but there is nothing defective about her. I think of a fellow at church who has no ears. He may be deaf but there is nothing defective about him, nor is there anything defective about a friend’s grand born with only a partial arm and hand or my grand, with her heart defects and learning issues. They are all marvelously made—different from others, but no less wonderful.
I have a small wooden box on my desk—my “God box.” It’s where I literally give my concerns to God; right now there are three items in it. The first is a photograph of a little girl. It is my grand, a sweet child with three congenital heart defects—none of which is going to disappear and all of which promise more trouble in the future. She also has learning issues—none of which will dissipate and all of which will cause more difficulty as she progresses into higher grades. The second item is a medallion from a sobriety program. It represents several people I love who have battled alcoholism or addiction—a battle they will continue to fight daily for the rest of their lives. The third item is a laminated card on which is written Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer. That one is for me.
From today’s verse, you might think I’m going to say that God will never give us more than we can bear. That Christianese sentiment, however, comes from 1 Corinthians 10 and is about temptation, not difficulties and afflictions. The belief that God will never give us any burden or challenge we can’t bear puts the emphasis on us and our strength rather than where it should be—on God and His power! In 2 Corinthians, Paul wrote of being so burdened beyond his strength that he despaired of even living. Clearly, there will be times in our lives when we will be given far more than we can possibly bear by ourselves.
