Category Archives: Sorrow, Grief & Regrets

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

September 30, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, God's Grace & Love, Holy Spirit, Knowing Him, Prayer, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Trusting God, Wisdom & Guidance

QUESTIONABLE CHOICES

Today I have given you a choice between life and death, success and disaster. … Today I am giving you a choice of two ways. And I ask heaven and earth to be witnesses of your choice. You can choose life or death. The first choice will bring a blessing. The other choice will bring a curse. So choose life! [Deuteronomy 30:15,19 (ERV)]

There is a way that people think is right, but it leads only to death. [Proverbs 14:12 (ERV)]

wrong way -9773web
Perhaps you’ve seen the television ad that shows a woman who, after taking a taste test, discovers that the spaghetti sauce she’s been purchasing for years isn’t the best one. “I wonder what other questionable choices I’ve made?” she asks as the viewer sees a flashback to her dreadful hairstyles from the past. Having recently gone through our photo albums, I can attest to making several appalling choices in the way of hair, fashion and make-up. Fortunately, my worst choices were never captured on film. Unfortunately, those choices were far worse than the wrong pasta sauce, a frizzy perm, white eye shadow, or a plaid blazer so loud it required ear plugs.

Questionable choices—we all have made them and I suspect we all would rather not make any more of them. Yet, somehow we still do. It’s been said that “ego” is simply an acronym for the phrase “Edging God Out” and I’d have to agree. When we let our egos rule, we’re really telling God that we know better than He does. When egos rule, questionable choices often result. Looking back at my poor choices, I realize they all have something in common: the lack of prayer. Those faulty choices were the result of me trying to edge God out: I was sure I knew what I wanted or needed and how to go about doing or getting it. I was positive I didn’t need any advice, help or guidance from God in my decisions. How mistaken I was!

Fortunately, God is forgiving, generous and caring and my poorest choices, while leaving me a bit battered and scarred, didn’t leave me permanently maimed. Jesus never left my side and the Holy Spirit kept whispering in my ear until I finally understood that God knows best. My questionable choices in fashion may well continue but, if I allow God to lead me, my other (far more important) choices will unquestionably be good ones.

We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves. [Thomas Merton]

Do any of you need wisdom? Ask God for it. He is generous and enjoys giving to everyone. So he will give you wisdom. [James 1:5 (ERV)]

This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more; that you will have knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between what is important and what is not and choose what is important; that you will be pure and blameless for the coming of Christ; that your life will be full of the many good works that are produced by Jesus Christ to bring glory and praise to God. [Ephesians 1:9-11 (ERV)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

September 11, 2015

Posted under

Faith & Hope, Fear & Doubt, God's Plan, Knowing Him, Peace of God, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Trusting God

ON A NEED TO KNOW BASIS

I also saw something else here on earth: The fastest runner does not always win the race, the strongest soldier does not always win the battle, the wisest does not always have food, the smartest does not always become wealthy, and the talented one does not always receive praise. Time and chance happen to everyone. [Ecclesiastes 9:11 (NCV)]

purple coneflower - MHSP087webSometimes, in the hope of protecting the integrity of secret or sensitive information, access to information is limited to a “need to know” basis. Of course, WikiLeaks and a variety of journalists have proven that there’s little that is ever truly confidential. The HIPA Act and all of those forms we sign when visiting a doctor are supposed to keep our medical information private and on a “need to know” basis. Having just learned that my medical insurance records have been hacked, it seems that a “need to know” status isn’t much of a safeguard to one’s privacy. In spite of all sorts of precautions, hackers, whistle blowers, and informants manage to access and leak information whether we need to know it or not!

There are times we think God is keeping certain information from us that we have a need to know. We want to know the answers to “Why?” Why did he get Alzheimer’s? Why did she go into a coma? Why did this child get leukemia? Why does my child have Down’s syndrome? Why the tornado? Why didn’t the driver stop? Why can’t I have children? Why was he at the wrong place at the wrong time? Why is her child in the gifted class when mine struggles to keep up? Why didn’t she listen? Why did he kill himself? Why is there so much hate and hurt? Why did so many die in such a senseless act of terrorism? Why couldn’t you save them? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why?

I freely admit that any sermons I’ve heard that tried to answer those questions failed miserably; they left me dissatisfied and empty. The short answer, of course, is readily available in Genesis: bad things happen because man sinned. That answer, however, is anything but satisfactory. The only sermons that ever made sense were the ones conceding that, while we’re in this world, there never will be an acceptable explanation for why bad things happen.

The answers to the cries of “Why?” are on a “need to know” basis. We’ll only know the facts we need to know at the time we need to know them. If we truly needed to know, God would tell us; but we don’t, so He won’t. It’s in God’s job description to know the answers to those questions; it’s not in ours. Our job description simply requires us to trust in Him and in His plan. It appears that the angels are all rather content with their positions so we shouldn’t count on them leaking any privileged information our way. We just have to accept that when, and if, we ever need to know why, God will supply a satisfactory answer. We don’t need to know why; we just need to know Him!

You are only human, and human beings have no right to question God. An object should not ask the person who made it, “Why did you make me like this?” The potter can make anything he wants to make. He can use the same clay to make one thing for special use and another thing for daily use. [Romans 9:20-21 (NCV)]

We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. [Romans 8:28a (NCV)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

July 31, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Challenges & Difficulty, Forgiveness, God's Plan, God's Promises, God's Word: The Bible, Obedience, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Today: Make it Count, Trusting God, Wisdom & Guidance

NO AMNESTY

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. [Psalm 51:1-4 (NLT)]

8-6-15DSC05651web
Tonight, we’ll experience what’s called a “blue moon,” a somewhat rare occurrence of two full moons in the same month. A few years ago the Chicago Public Library had what they called the “Once in a Blue Moon Amnesty” program. For three weeks, any late fees were waived on all overdue material, no matter how late it was. Apparently, many people prefer keeping their books, magazines and DVDs rather than paying steep fines as a consequence for their late return. The amnesty was offered in hope of getting more than two million dollars’ worth of media back on the shelves. It had been twenty years since the city ran a similar program of reprieve. Avoiding the consequences of our actions, like the Chicago Public Library’s amnesty offer, usually only happens “once in a blue moon!”

David was famous: he was a musician and shepherd, a giant killer and celebrated warrior, a great king and the author of most of the psalms. Nevertheless, he was human and David, like the rest of us, fell into sin. Adultery with Bathsheba was just one of them; he also murdered Bathsheba’s husband Uriah by sending him to his certain death. When David finally confessed his transgressions, the prophet Nathan assured him that they were forgiven. Nathan added that God’s forgiveness didn’t mean David wouldn’t suffer the consequences of his sins: his child by Bathsheba, conceived while she was still married to Uriah, would die. David’s confession and apology to God were not enough to eliminate the consequences of his actions; there was no amnesty for him.

Hopefully, when we wrong others, we confess, apologize and try to make amends. Nevertheless, our confession, someone’s forgiveness, and even restitution won’t free us from consequences. We may still lose respect, a job, a friend or even a marriage. Our actions may lead to a punishment as simple as a traffic ticket or as serious as time in prison. A child may be put in “time out,” a teenager might be grounded and a college student could be put on academic probation. We may receive a poor performance review, not be allowed to participate in an activity, be expelled from school or find a relationship irrevocably destroyed. We could lose money, status or even our family. If we choose to sin, we must be prepared for the consequences of that sin. Amnesty is rarely an option.

We ask God to forgive our sins and he does. We must never forget, however, that God’s promise of forgiveness is not like a “Get Out of Jail Free” card in the game of Monopoly. Neither God’s forgiveness nor the forgiveness of those we’ve wronged will exonerate us from the consequences of our actions in this game of life.

The people of Samaria must bear the consequences of their guilt because they rebelled against their God. [Hosea 13:16a (NLT)]

But they encouraged my people to worship idols, causing Israel to fall into deep sin. So I have taken a solemn oath that they must bear the consequences for their sins, says the Sovereign Lord. [Ezekiel 4:12 (NLT)]

And because you have forgotten me and turned your back on me, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: You must bear the consequences of all your lewdness and prostitution. [Ezekiel 23:35 (NLT)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

July 23, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Forgiveness, God's Grace & Love, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Temptation & Sin, Wisdom & Guidance

SHIFTING THE BLAME

“I don’t deserve to be called your son anymore. Make me one of your hired men.” … Then his son said to him, “Father, I’ve sinned against heaven and you. I don’t deserve to be called your son anymore.” [Luke 15:19,21 (GW)]

The man answered, “That woman, the one you gave me, gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” [Genesis 3:12 (GW)]

DSC01629awebAfter brazenly demanding his inheritance while his father still lived, the prodigal son quickly wasted it all in a reckless and immoral lifestyle. Realizing the error of his ways, the ashamed and penniless youth swallowed his pride and returned to his father, hoping to be hired on as a servant. His story, one of repentance, forgiveness and redemption, is quite a contrast to that of a young woman whose tale is circulating on the Internet. She recently called into a radio show and told of getting a $90,000 college fund from her grandparents. In three years, however, she managed to blow through all of it—not just on tuition but also on clothing, college breaks and a trip to Europe. Now, having no way to pay her $20,000 senior year’s tuition, she called the show to complain—not about her recklessness and spendthrift ways but about her parents. Although any fifth grader knows enough to divide ninety by four and figure out how much money can be spent each year, she blamed her parents for not teaching her to budget; it was their fault she was broke. The young woman showed no remorse for her actions and refused to accept responsibility for her predicament. The prodigal son worked at a pig farm before returning home and was willing to work as his father’s servant. This young woman’s response to getting a job in the school cafeteria was, “That’s embarrassing.”

I wonder, however, if we’re really all that different from this young woman. Hopefully, we haven’t squandered $90,000 but we’ve all blamed others for our errors, difficulties, and even our sins. It wasn’t just Eve that Adam blamed for the apple incident; he blamed God for giving him the woman in the first place. We’re not much better. In an effort to excuse our actions, we shift the blame to our parents’ divorce, our ex-spouse’s greed, bad genes, the credit card company that shouldn’t have increased our credit, the loan officer who allowed us to refinance, the persuasive salesman, our idiot co-workers, the teacher who can’t teach, the woman who shouldn’t have been so seductive, the husband who shouldn’t have been so busy, the spouse who just didn’t understand, a troubled childhood, the bartender who over-served, and the other guy who made us angry or started the fight! We shift the blame to justify our own bad behavior and, if we show any remorse, it’s only because of the mess in which we find ourselves once we have to face the consequences.

With a repentant heart, the prodigal son took responsibility for his actions and was welcomed into his father’s house. Make no mistake about it, if we don’t accept responsibility for our actions with a humble and repentant heart, our story, unlike that of the prodigal son, will not be one of forgiveness and redemption.

When someone is tempted, he shouldn’t say that God is tempting him. God can’t be tempted by evil, and God doesn’t tempt anyone. Everyone is tempted by his own desires as they lure him away and trap him. Then desire becomes pregnant and gives birth to sin. When sin grows up, it gives birth to death. [James 1:13-15 (GW)]

If we say, “We aren’t sinful” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we’ve done wrong. [1 John 1:8-9 (GW)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

June 29, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Challenges & Difficulty, Faith & Hope, God's Plan, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Trusting God

WHY ASK “WHY?”

I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord! [Job 1:21 (NLT)]

So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny. [Job 23:14 (NLT)]

6-29-15jobDSC01010web
Life rapidly went from bad to worse for Job, a prosperous farmer who lost absolutely everything dear to him. In a matter of a few days, Job’s world was turned upside down. His flock of sheep were destroyed, his livestock stolen, his farmhands killed, and his children all died. As if the emotional pain from losing both his family and wealth wasn’t enough, Job became afflicted with boils, causing him terrible physical pain as well.

Job’s greatest torment, however, wasn’t physical or emotional; it was intellectual. He simply couldn’t understand the reason why such horrible events had occurred. In his anguish, he asked why God had turned away from him. Why was he being treated as a God’s enemy? Job, a good man, was positive that he’d done nothing wrong so his suffering couldn’t be punishment for any sins. Why then did he have to endure such woes? Even though he couldn’t understand the why of his misery, however, Job never lost his faith in God. He finally comprehended, as we all must at some point in our lives, that there will never be a satisfactory explanation for suffering and agony; our business is not to ask but to accept. Job finally asked God to forgive him for the questioning of His will. Even without knowing a reason for the tragedies of his life, the faithful Job managed to say, “Praise the name of the Lord!”

Like Job, when tragedy occurs in our lives or even in the lives of others, we feel there needs to be a reason that we can comprehend. Why we keep asking “why?” is beyond me; there is never anything close to an acceptable explanation for the tragedies of this life. We’re simply not ever going to know “why” on this side of eternity. It is a test of our faith to trust in the life a good and loving God has given to us and rather than just to trust in a life that is good. Rather than having faith in God because of what He does for us and the blessings he bestows on us, we need to have faith in God simply because of who He is and what Christ did for us on the cross. God’s plans for us are good ones and that is all we really need to know.

You, child of God, sometimes say, “What can be the design of this cross? What can be meant by that bereavement? Why am I perplexed by this dilemma? Why is this difficulty piled like a barricade across my path?” Well, you know not now, but you shall know hereafter; meanwhile, settle it firmly in your faith that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) [Charles Spurgeon]

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad? [Job 2:10 ((NLT)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

June 9, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, God's Grace & Love, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Temptation & Sin

FALLING DOWN

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. [Romans 3:23 (NLT)]

If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. [1 Corinthians 10:12a (NLT)]

Thrilled to finally get back on my bike after several weeks of prescribed inactivity, I was cruising along and in the zone. Suddenly, I looked up to see a person walking toward me, head down and ear phones on. Thinking I was reaching for my bell to warn of my approach, I ended up braking—hard. The next thing I knew, my bike and I were sprawled out in the muddy gutter. I had been having so much fun on the bike that my brain had simply gone on vacation.

Muddy, battered and bruised, I sat on a rock and nursed my wounds. I compared my morning’s tumble with the many times we fall into sin. When we stop paying attention to our surroundings, it’s easy to end up in a spiritual gutter. Even though we’ve been warned to stay alert for the enemy, we just barrel along, enjoying ourselves, “doing our thing,” and not noticing life’s hidden hazards. If we’re not watching for temptation, we’re taken by surprise when it comes our way. Before we know what happened, we fall and end up in sin’s sewer. I wanted to blame my fall on the walker but I had only myself to blame—I should have been paying attention. It’s that way when we sin; like Adam, we want to blame someone else, but we’re the only ones responsible for our actions.

Sitting there, bleeding and filthy, several people stopped to ask if I needed help; they were truly good Samaritans. Because I’d already asked my husband to come get me with the car, I thanked them and sent them on their way. The last time I had a bad fall, I wasn’t so smart. Insisting I was fine after a tumble down a ski run, I refused any assistance. Unfortunately, I’d broken ribs and torn ligaments in my knee and deciding to ski to the bottom was both prideful and foolhardy. This time, at least, I knew enough to admit I was hurt. When sin has knocked us down, it’s difficult to acknowledge that we’re in trouble and need help. We don’t want to concede that we’ve screwed up. While there may not be someone offering a helping hand, God is always there for us no matter how far we’ve fallen nor how dirty we’ve gotten. The problem for most of us, however, is admitting that we’ve fallen into a mess that we can’t clean up on our own.

Looking back on the morning’s misadventure, I’m incredibly thankful. The consequences of my fall are just some sore muscles and a nasty case of road rash. No car happened along as I went sprawling out into the road and, other than my bike’s bell, nothing is broken. We rarely get off that easy when we sin; sin’s consequences can be extremely painful and even fatal.

Once safely home, I got angry with myself. Our day’s plans were spoiled because of my stupidity. But my tears were not going to get me a do-over on the morning’s ride; the damage was done. When we’ve sinned, we also tend to beat ourselves up with guilt and remorse long after we’ve confessed and been forgiven. As far as God is concerned, however, our sins are over, done with, and gone; it needs to be that way for us as well. We should learn from our mistakes but must be willing to let go of the replays and shame. As for me, I’m sorer but wiser! And, if it’s all the same to you, God, could the inspiration for tomorrow’s devotion not involve blood and bruises?

Satan is the master distracter. He is always working to keep us off track in our walk with God. [Joyce Meyer]

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. [1 Peter 5:8a (NLT)]

The godly are directed by honesty; the wicked fall beneath their load of sin. [Proverbs 11:5 (NLT)]