Category Archives: Sorrow, Grief & Regrets

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

July 31, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Challenges & Difficulty, Forgiveness, God's Plan, God's Promises, God's Word: The Bible, Obedience, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Today: Make it Count, Trusting God, Wisdom & Guidance

NO AMNESTY

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. [Psalm 51:1-4 (NLT)]

8-6-15DSC05651web
Tonight, we’ll experience what’s called a “blue moon,” a somewhat rare occurrence of two full moons in the same month. A few years ago the Chicago Public Library had what they called the “Once in a Blue Moon Amnesty” program. For three weeks, any late fees were waived on all overdue material, no matter how late it was. Apparently, many people prefer keeping their books, magazines and DVDs rather than paying steep fines as a consequence for their late return. The amnesty was offered in hope of getting more than two million dollars’ worth of media back on the shelves. It had been twenty years since the city ran a similar program of reprieve. Avoiding the consequences of our actions, like the Chicago Public Library’s amnesty offer, usually only happens “once in a blue moon!”

David was famous: he was a musician and shepherd, a giant killer and celebrated warrior, a great king and the author of most of the psalms. Nevertheless, he was human and David, like the rest of us, fell into sin. Adultery with Bathsheba was just one of them; he also murdered Bathsheba’s husband Uriah by sending him to his certain death. When David finally confessed his transgressions, the prophet Nathan assured him that they were forgiven. Nathan added that God’s forgiveness didn’t mean David wouldn’t suffer the consequences of his sins: his child by Bathsheba, conceived while she was still married to Uriah, would die. David’s confession and apology to God were not enough to eliminate the consequences of his actions; there was no amnesty for him.

Hopefully, when we wrong others, we confess, apologize and try to make amends. Nevertheless, our confession, someone’s forgiveness, and even restitution won’t free us from consequences. We may still lose respect, a job, a friend or even a marriage. Our actions may lead to a punishment as simple as a traffic ticket or as serious as time in prison. A child may be put in “time out,” a teenager might be grounded and a college student could be put on academic probation. We may receive a poor performance review, not be allowed to participate in an activity, be expelled from school or find a relationship irrevocably destroyed. We could lose money, status or even our family. If we choose to sin, we must be prepared for the consequences of that sin. Amnesty is rarely an option.

We ask God to forgive our sins and he does. We must never forget, however, that God’s promise of forgiveness is not like a “Get Out of Jail Free” card in the game of Monopoly. Neither God’s forgiveness nor the forgiveness of those we’ve wronged will exonerate us from the consequences of our actions in this game of life.

The people of Samaria must bear the consequences of their guilt because they rebelled against their God. [Hosea 13:16a (NLT)]

But they encouraged my people to worship idols, causing Israel to fall into deep sin. So I have taken a solemn oath that they must bear the consequences for their sins, says the Sovereign Lord. [Ezekiel 4:12 (NLT)]

And because you have forgotten me and turned your back on me, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: You must bear the consequences of all your lewdness and prostitution. [Ezekiel 23:35 (NLT)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

July 23, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Forgiveness, God's Grace & Love, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Temptation & Sin, Wisdom & Guidance

SHIFTING THE BLAME

“I don’t deserve to be called your son anymore. Make me one of your hired men.” … Then his son said to him, “Father, I’ve sinned against heaven and you. I don’t deserve to be called your son anymore.” [Luke 15:19,21 (GW)]

The man answered, “That woman, the one you gave me, gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” [Genesis 3:12 (GW)]

DSC01629awebAfter brazenly demanding his inheritance while his father still lived, the prodigal son quickly wasted it all in a reckless and immoral lifestyle. Realizing the error of his ways, the ashamed and penniless youth swallowed his pride and returned to his father, hoping to be hired on as a servant. His story, one of repentance, forgiveness and redemption, is quite a contrast to that of a young woman whose tale is circulating on the Internet. She recently called into a radio show and told of getting a $90,000 college fund from her grandparents. In three years, however, she managed to blow through all of it—not just on tuition but also on clothing, college breaks and a trip to Europe. Now, having no way to pay her $20,000 senior year’s tuition, she called the show to complain—not about her recklessness and spendthrift ways but about her parents. Although any fifth grader knows enough to divide ninety by four and figure out how much money can be spent each year, she blamed her parents for not teaching her to budget; it was their fault she was broke. The young woman showed no remorse for her actions and refused to accept responsibility for her predicament. The prodigal son worked at a pig farm before returning home and was willing to work as his father’s servant. This young woman’s response to getting a job in the school cafeteria was, “That’s embarrassing.”

I wonder, however, if we’re really all that different from this young woman. Hopefully, we haven’t squandered $90,000 but we’ve all blamed others for our errors, difficulties, and even our sins. It wasn’t just Eve that Adam blamed for the apple incident; he blamed God for giving him the woman in the first place. We’re not much better. In an effort to excuse our actions, we shift the blame to our parents’ divorce, our ex-spouse’s greed, bad genes, the credit card company that shouldn’t have increased our credit, the loan officer who allowed us to refinance, the persuasive salesman, our idiot co-workers, the teacher who can’t teach, the woman who shouldn’t have been so seductive, the husband who shouldn’t have been so busy, the spouse who just didn’t understand, a troubled childhood, the bartender who over-served, and the other guy who made us angry or started the fight! We shift the blame to justify our own bad behavior and, if we show any remorse, it’s only because of the mess in which we find ourselves once we have to face the consequences.

With a repentant heart, the prodigal son took responsibility for his actions and was welcomed into his father’s house. Make no mistake about it, if we don’t accept responsibility for our actions with a humble and repentant heart, our story, unlike that of the prodigal son, will not be one of forgiveness and redemption.

When someone is tempted, he shouldn’t say that God is tempting him. God can’t be tempted by evil, and God doesn’t tempt anyone. Everyone is tempted by his own desires as they lure him away and trap him. Then desire becomes pregnant and gives birth to sin. When sin grows up, it gives birth to death. [James 1:13-15 (GW)]

If we say, “We aren’t sinful” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we’ve done wrong. [1 John 1:8-9 (GW)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

June 29, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Challenges & Difficulty, Faith & Hope, God's Plan, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Trusting God

WHY ASK “WHY?”

I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord! [Job 1:21 (NLT)]

So he will do to me whatever he has planned. He controls my destiny. [Job 23:14 (NLT)]

6-29-15jobDSC01010web
Life rapidly went from bad to worse for Job, a prosperous farmer who lost absolutely everything dear to him. In a matter of a few days, Job’s world was turned upside down. His flock of sheep were destroyed, his livestock stolen, his farmhands killed, and his children all died. As if the emotional pain from losing both his family and wealth wasn’t enough, Job became afflicted with boils, causing him terrible physical pain as well.

Job’s greatest torment, however, wasn’t physical or emotional; it was intellectual. He simply couldn’t understand the reason why such horrible events had occurred. In his anguish, he asked why God had turned away from him. Why was he being treated as a God’s enemy? Job, a good man, was positive that he’d done nothing wrong so his suffering couldn’t be punishment for any sins. Why then did he have to endure such woes? Even though he couldn’t understand the why of his misery, however, Job never lost his faith in God. He finally comprehended, as we all must at some point in our lives, that there will never be a satisfactory explanation for suffering and agony; our business is not to ask but to accept. Job finally asked God to forgive him for the questioning of His will. Even without knowing a reason for the tragedies of his life, the faithful Job managed to say, “Praise the name of the Lord!”

Like Job, when tragedy occurs in our lives or even in the lives of others, we feel there needs to be a reason that we can comprehend. Why we keep asking “why?” is beyond me; there is never anything close to an acceptable explanation for the tragedies of this life. We’re simply not ever going to know “why” on this side of eternity. It is a test of our faith to trust in the life a good and loving God has given to us and rather than just to trust in a life that is good. Rather than having faith in God because of what He does for us and the blessings he bestows on us, we need to have faith in God simply because of who He is and what Christ did for us on the cross. God’s plans for us are good ones and that is all we really need to know.

You, child of God, sometimes say, “What can be the design of this cross? What can be meant by that bereavement? Why am I perplexed by this dilemma? Why is this difficulty piled like a barricade across my path?” Well, you know not now, but you shall know hereafter; meanwhile, settle it firmly in your faith that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) [Charles Spurgeon]

Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad? [Job 2:10 ((NLT)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

June 9, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, God's Grace & Love, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Temptation & Sin

FALLING DOWN

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. [Romans 3:23 (NLT)]

If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. [1 Corinthians 10:12a (NLT)]

Thrilled to finally get back on my bike after several weeks of prescribed inactivity, I was cruising along and in the zone. Suddenly, I looked up to see a person walking toward me, head down and ear phones on. Thinking I was reaching for my bell to warn of my approach, I ended up braking—hard. The next thing I knew, my bike and I were sprawled out in the muddy gutter. I had been having so much fun on the bike that my brain had simply gone on vacation.

Muddy, battered and bruised, I sat on a rock and nursed my wounds. I compared my morning’s tumble with the many times we fall into sin. When we stop paying attention to our surroundings, it’s easy to end up in a spiritual gutter. Even though we’ve been warned to stay alert for the enemy, we just barrel along, enjoying ourselves, “doing our thing,” and not noticing life’s hidden hazards. If we’re not watching for temptation, we’re taken by surprise when it comes our way. Before we know what happened, we fall and end up in sin’s sewer. I wanted to blame my fall on the walker but I had only myself to blame—I should have been paying attention. It’s that way when we sin; like Adam, we want to blame someone else, but we’re the only ones responsible for our actions.

Sitting there, bleeding and filthy, several people stopped to ask if I needed help; they were truly good Samaritans. Because I’d already asked my husband to come get me with the car, I thanked them and sent them on their way. The last time I had a bad fall, I wasn’t so smart. Insisting I was fine after a tumble down a ski run, I refused any assistance. Unfortunately, I’d broken ribs and torn ligaments in my knee and deciding to ski to the bottom was both prideful and foolhardy. This time, at least, I knew enough to admit I was hurt. When sin has knocked us down, it’s difficult to acknowledge that we’re in trouble and need help. We don’t want to concede that we’ve screwed up. While there may not be someone offering a helping hand, God is always there for us no matter how far we’ve fallen nor how dirty we’ve gotten. The problem for most of us, however, is admitting that we’ve fallen into a mess that we can’t clean up on our own.

Looking back on the morning’s misadventure, I’m incredibly thankful. The consequences of my fall are just some sore muscles and a nasty case of road rash. No car happened along as I went sprawling out into the road and, other than my bike’s bell, nothing is broken. We rarely get off that easy when we sin; sin’s consequences can be extremely painful and even fatal.

Once safely home, I got angry with myself. Our day’s plans were spoiled because of my stupidity. But my tears were not going to get me a do-over on the morning’s ride; the damage was done. When we’ve sinned, we also tend to beat ourselves up with guilt and remorse long after we’ve confessed and been forgiven. As far as God is concerned, however, our sins are over, done with, and gone; it needs to be that way for us as well. We should learn from our mistakes but must be willing to let go of the replays and shame. As for me, I’m sorer but wiser! And, if it’s all the same to you, God, could the inspiration for tomorrow’s devotion not involve blood and bruises?

Satan is the master distracter. He is always working to keep us off track in our walk with God. [Joyce Meyer]

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. [1 Peter 5:8a (NLT)]

The godly are directed by honesty; the wicked fall beneath their load of sin. [Proverbs 11:5 (NLT)]

 

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

June 5, 2015

Posted under

Challenges & Difficulty, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Joy, Prayer, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Worry

IN THE DARKNESS

Be full of joy always because you belong to the Lord. Again I say, be full of joy! [Philippians 4:4 (NLV)]

Hear my prayer, O Lord! Let my cry for help come to You. Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble. Turn Your ear to me. Hurry to answer me in the day when I call. For my days go up in smoke. And my bones are burned as with fire. My heart is crushed and dried like grass. And I forget to eat my food. I am nothing but skin and bones because of my loud cries. I am like a pelican in the desert. I am like an owl of the waste places. I lie awake. And I feel like a bird alone on the roof. [Psalm 102:1-7 (NLV)]

moon-ACLwebI woke at 2:00 AM and limped to the bathroom for some Advil for my aching foot. Returning to bed, I knew my foot would feel better, if not that night then surely in the near future. God willing, I’ll be back to power walking within a few months. But, as I lay there, I wondered how many people were also awake and hurting that night, but hurting in a way that couldn’t be helped by a few ibuprofen. How many people see no end in sight for their pain and anguish?

Why such dark thoughts in the middle of the night? At Bible study earlier that evening, several people had asked for prayers for loved ones suffering from depression and, as often happens when serious depression is discussed, the topic of suicide also arose. While we’ve all been sad, depression is far more than just a bad case of the blues. Depression is when that sadness becomes so persistent that it interferes with everyday activities and adversely affects someone’s life. A complex illness, it has many contributing factors including grief, genetics, medications, illness, a history of being abused, and personal problems. I’ve watched family and friends suffer from serious depression and mental illness, some to the point of hospitalization, and I imagine they might describe it as a living hell.

Since we’re told to live lives of praise and joy, I don’t think God wants us to live a life of despair and agony. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world and both mental and physical afflictions are part of it. We may not find the word “depression” in the Bible but anguish and despair can be found throughout its pages. I think Job was depressed and, at some time or another, so were David, Hannah, Jeremiah, and Elijah. Their depression didn’t mean they’d lost their faith any more than having cancer or diabetes means we’ve lost ours. Accepting Christ doesn’t mean we get a vaccination making us immune to any illness, least of all depression.

Lying in bed that night, I knew there is little any of us can do to alleviate the anguish of the mentally ill. We can, however, support Christian mental health services, be compassionate and supportive to both the ill and their families, and offer our heartfelt prayers.

Father in Heaven, I cannot begin to fathom the agony suffered by the mentally ill and the distress their illness brings to their loved ones. Protect them from the pitfalls, like addiction or homelessness, that so often accompany mental illness. Reassure them of your presence, lift their hearts, and guide them to healers so they can get the support and treatment they so desperately need. Give them the gift of hope and peace and restore them to health. Fill the hearts of their families with love, empathy, patience and understanding and help them to trust in your power and might.

How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I plan what to do in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long will those who hate me rise above me? … But I have trusted in Your loving-kindness. My heart will be full of joy because You will save me. I will sing to the Lord, because He has been good to me. [Psalm 13:1-2,5-6 (NLV)]

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

May 8, 2015

Posted under

Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, God's Plan, Sorrow, Grief & Regrets, Today: Make it Count

SEIZE THE DAY

And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today—at the latest, tomorrow—we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. [James 4:13-14 (MSG)]

My wife was dead. All those things we were going to do together were now impossible. We had spent a lifetime working toward that distant goal, making promises to ourselves that now we would never fulfill. Sure, it’s important to plan for the future, but think about this: You’ve had the gift of yesterday, and you are living today with its choices and opportunities, but who knows if you will have tomorrow? You’ve heard it time and time again, but I will tell you – and I know it’s true, because the painful lesson is etched into my yesterday – no one has a guarantee of tomorrow. That’s why it is so important today to tell our spouses and loved ones what they mean to us. [From “Hiking Through” by Paul Stutzman]

5-8-15seizewebThe day I started reading Paul Stutzman’s book Hiking Through, about his journey on the Appalachian Trail, was the same day I learned that a friend’s wife has conceded defeat in her war against cancer. Having recently received the last rites, her remaining time is measured in just days and hours. What struck me is the similarity between both men’s situations. Like my friend’s wife, after a long and painful struggle, Stutzman’s spouse lost her battle with cancer. Both couples had persisted through their difficult yesterdays: the financial and professional struggles of the early years and the stress of raising children. They were approaching what I think of as the “wonder” years: those blessed years when careers are secure, the children are capable young adults, money is no longer scarce, health is still good, and there are time and funds enough for travel. Those highly anticipated carefree and joy-filled tomorrows will never happen for either couple.

Having lost my parents in their prime (my mother was only forty-seven and my father just fifty-six), I’ve always had an awareness of life’s brevity. That doesn’t mean I don’t waste precious moments of every today by reliving my yesterdays or anticipating my hoped for tomorrows. May these men’s experiences remind us all that we must take delight in every precious today granted to us. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon makes the point that there is a right time for each activity in life. It is, however, always the right time to praise God for the blessings of the day. Moreover, there is never a wrong time to tell those we love how much we care for them and how precious they are to us.

There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace. [Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (MSG)]