The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. [Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)]
With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous. … Upright citizens are good for a city and make it prosper, but the talk of the wicked tears it apart. [Proverbs 11:9,11 (NLT)]
When writing about nitroglycerin recently, I realized there’s something else in our lives much like this strange chemical that is both helpful and harmful. Like nitroglycerin, man’s capabilities are a dichotomy between good and evil, constructive and destructive, and beneficial or detrimental. The same mind capable of creating a vaccine that saves thousands of lives is capable of creating a nuclear bomb that can take those lives. James speaks of this incongruity when writing about the way we use our words, “We use our tongues to praise our Lord and Father, but then we curse people, whom God made like himself. Praises and curses come from the same mouth! My brothers and sisters, this should not happen.” [3:9-10]
While most of us have nothing to do with weapons of mass destruction and can’t annihilate a city with the push of a button, we can destroy one life at a time with our words! Like dynamite, our words can cause an explosion that produces major destruction. We can quash ambition with disparaging and demeaning remarks. We can shoot down someone with censure, condemnation, and blame. While we’d never think of physically harming a person, with a few words, we can wound an ego and tear open old wounds. We’d never murder anyone but we certainly can manage to kill someone’s hopes and dreams. We wouldn’t think of destroying a person’s home, yet we can demolish their reputation and even their career with just a few words! Ridicule and shaming can collapse self-esteem faster than an arrow can deflate a helium balloon. Our words, like nitroglycerin, can be devastating weapons.
Nevertheless, like medical nitroglycerin, our words also can help. Words of love, comfort, forgiveness, encouragement, respect, or sympathy can lift burdens and defuse situations better than any bomb squad. It is our choice as to whether we crush or nurture, rend or mend, stifle or encourage. My mother used to tell me, “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all!” Sometimes that’s easier said than done! There are times my prayer is simply that God will put his arm around my shoulder and place His hand across my mouth!
Father, forgive us for our thoughtless and often cruel words. Guide us to use our tongues with wisdom and love; show us how to heal, not harm. Let our words be ones of encouragement and support. Rather than destroyers, show us how to be builders; rather than combatants, let us be peacemakers; and rather than adversaries, let us be advocates.
Only speak words that make a heart grow stronger. [Ann Voskamp]
“Chocolate comes from cacao beans. Beans are vegetables. Salads are made of vegetables. Therefore, chocolate is a salad!” said the sign in the bakery. “I like their logic!” I thought. If you’ve ever tried to lose weight you probably know the loopholes used by dieters. Broken cookies have no calories because they fell out when the cookies broke, anything eaten with a diet soda is calorie-free, and food eaten off someone else’s plate doesn’t count because the original calories belong to them! Technically, anything licked off a spoon while preparing food isn’t eating; it’s cooking! Furthermore, if you’re eating with someone else, you’ve kept to your diet if the other person consumes more than you! As a once struggling dieter, I know all the excuses to justify over indulging. The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves and, unfortunately, most of them aren’t as silly as these.
After being asked, “How different would the world look if everyone got what they deserved?” I started wondering. Even as a child, I knew people didn’t get what they deserved. When I was ten, I watched on television as nine black students tried to enroll in an all-white school in Little Rock, Arkansas; they were blocked by the National Guard and an angry mob of 400 angry whites. Two years earlier, on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Parks was arrested for refusing to give up her seat to a white woman. I grew up in Detroit and, while discrimination and segregation were more subtle than in the South, it existed. I lived in a large home with a big yard on a tree-lined street but any bus trip “downtown” told me that the people of color didn’t live in neighborhoods like mine. There may not have been “colored” drinking fountains or “white only” bathrooms but there was a six-foot high, one-foot wide, and half-mile long wall segregating one black community from a neighboring white one. Many other invisible and more impenetrable walls existed within our divided city.
The two were seated next to us on the patio; the frail elderly woman was the mother and the younger woman her daughter. After pondering the menu, the mother had all sorts of questions about it. In no rush to order, she dithered over her entrée choice and, once food was served, she lingered over it. As I observed the two women, I could see and hear the daughter’s growing frustration and impatience with her mother. They reminded me of the times I took my mother-in-law out to lunch. Having “been there and done that,” I wanted to tell the daughter to be patient. One day, mom would be gone and she’d wish they had more days together.
It’s often said, “Like father, like son,” and that was true of my father-in-law and his sons. Although they weren’t carbon copies of their dad, the boys shared several characteristics with the man who fathered them. In the same way, because God created us in His image, we share some of His characteristics. Of course, there are many important ways we are not like our Creator—He is all-knowing, eternal, all-powerful, and ever-present. Without a physical body, we don’t have things like God’s nose, hair color, or smile. Nevertheless, we do resemble Him in the spiritual, moral, and intellectual attributes of our nature that distinguish us from the rest of the animal world.