Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me. There are many rooms in my Father’s house; I would not tell you this if it were not true. I am going there to prepare a place for you. After I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me so that you may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” [John 14:1-4 (NCV)]
“Why can’t they be happy for us,” my daughter-in-law plaintively asked many years ago. “We’re going to where we want to be. This is our dream!” I certainly understood about her friends’ reaction to their news. My son, his wife and their two children (my precious grands) were moving to California. Instead of living a mile from us, they’d be over 2,000 miles away! I was no different from her friends except that, since taking Mother-in-Law 101, I’d mentally duct-taped my mouth and managed to silence my protests.
I felt her words in my heart. Why couldn’t I be happy for them? I was so blinded by my loss that I couldn’t see their gain: a beautiful new house, an ideal climate, a super school, and their dream location of surf, sand and sunshine. I asked God to change my heart: to take the sadness and replace it with gladness and to take my self-pity and replace it with encouraging words and enthusiasm. I knew this wasn’t the last time we’d see each other; after all, we only would be a plane ride apart.
It’s been several years since their move. When I see how happy they are in California, I can’t believe I ever allowed my sorrow at their departure blind me to their joyous arrival in a new location. Besides, my husband and I now have a wonderful place to visit.
Many of us are at the age when our friends and family are departing, not to live across the country, but to move from this world into the next. Why is it so difficult to be happy for them? That final move is the best one yet for them. They are leaving a place of pain, sin, anxiety, and sorrow and going to a new home: one where there is peace and joy and love. Moreover, they’re going to a place where, eventually, we all want to be! It’s just so difficult to stop focusing on our loss to see our loved one’s gain: a home in heaven – no pain, no tears, and the presence of God! Remember, this won’t be the last time we see them!
Heavenly Father, when our loved ones leave us, let it be less about us and more about them. Please lessen our sorrow at their departure and increase our joy at their destination.
Death is an incident, not an end. It is a transition for a Christian, not a terminus. [Billy Graham]
Grey hair may be a crown of glory and the splendor of old age, but that’s about all the splendor and glory I see in advanced years. As my mother-in-law approaches her 102nd birthday, there is little about her quality of life that I consider glorious or splendid. Her sparkling personality, vigor and enthusiasm, along with her hearing, visual perception, ability to reason, and memory are vanishing. Occasionally a spark of her old self resurfaces but, for the most part, the essence of the woman who has been a mother to me for over fifty years has disappeared.
I was singing along with Zach Williams, “Fear, he is a liar,” when I recalled one of my memory verses: “The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid?” [Psalm 27:1] I then realized a commonality in the Bible verses I’ve been memorizing: fear. If asked, I wouldn’t say I’m a fearful person and yet the Bible verses I’ve been memorizing contradict me. I don’t suffer an assortment of phobias nor do I see a threat around every corner. I’m not unduly anxious—I don’t pace, bite my nails, stay awake all night, or binge eat. While I’m cautious when the situation calls for caution, I don’t consider myself irrationally fearful, so why did I choose to memorize so many Bible verses dealing with fear?
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. [Psalm 91:2 (NLT)]
and literally jumped through hoops; all of this took place some twelve to eighty feet above the forest floor.
“That’s more like it!” I thought as I read Psalm 47; I certainly preferred it to the curses of the previous set of Psalms I’d read. I’m reading the Bible in chronological rather than in canonical order which means that the various books and chapters have been divided and rearranged. As a result, the psalms of lament and complaint were grouped together during David’s trials and the praise psalms were placed after the chapters outlining the duties in the Temple. These psalms of worship, adoration and thanksgiving seem more appropriate for Israel’s book of hymns than the earlier ones about wickedness, treachery, calamity and vengeance.