Category Archives: Family, Friends & Fellowship

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November 9, 2015

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Church & Worship, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Joy, Love & Works, Money & Wealth

HEALING

This is how we know what real love is: Jesus gave his life for us. So we should give our lives for our brothers and sisters. Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God’s love is not living in that person. My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring. [1 John 3:16-18 (NCV)]

starfish - CP426-cropwebAs I picked up another starfish and tossed it back into the water, I thought of Loren Eiseley’s essay about saving starfish and making a difference in people’s lives, one life at a time. Remembering Eiseley’s essay got me thinking about an announcement made last week at Bible study. While a local family was driving home from church last Easter, a driver sped through a red light, t-boned their car, and changed their lives forever. Their two small children were seriously injured and one, a three-year old girl, was airlifted to another town. On life support for about a month, her injuries left her a quadriplegic. Now four, this sweet little girl has more surgeries and months (if not years), of medical, physical and occupational therapies ahead of her. Meanwhile, her family struggles with mounting medical expenses. Although the family does not attend our church, their need came to the attention of our pastor. Being restricted to a wheelchair has kept this little girl and her family from their favorite Florida activity—going to the beach. Since the wheels of a normal wheelchair would sink in the sand, family beach time has been just a memory until now. Yesterday, along with a sizeable check to help with their expenses, our church presented them with a sturdy all-terrain beach wheelchair. This vehicle enables her not just to go to the beach but also to go into the ocean and play in the water once again.

all terrain wheelchairWith their huge medical bills and needs, the $2,200 spent on a wheelchair may seem a little frivolous—but not to a four-year-old girl who had given up all hope of ever going to the beach or feeling the waves again! There are some people who will analyze how many mission trips, meals, blankets, immunizations, medicines, bricks, or Bibles could have been purchased with that same amount of money. They may disagree with how the church spent our tithes and offerings. Without a doubt, there is a tremendous need in our world for just the bare necessities of clean water, food, shelter, and health care. Sometimes, however, a need is right in front of us—a need to make life a little easier for a neighbor, a need to bring some joy back to a family or to put a smile back on a child’s face. Sometimes what seems extravagant to someone is a necessity to another—a great wig or a day at the spa for a woman with breast cancer, a davit that allows a paraplegic man to get into his boat again, skiing on a sit-ski for a wounded warrior who’s lost his legs, a week of summer camp for a teen with diabetes, a weekend at Disney for a child with leukemia, a trip to the Super Bowl for a boy with cystic fibrosis, or even a teddy bear for a tot recovering from heart surgery.

Healing was an essential part of Jesus’ ministry and it needs to be part of ours as well. While few of us have a healing touch, we all can offer something that can’t be found in medical equipment or a pharmacy: compassion, encouragement, hope, and even a little fun. That wheelchair may do more to heal this little girl than years of therapy could ever accomplish. While we can’t help everyone, we can each help someone, one person at a time, and make a big difference in that one person’s life. Last week, I helped a few starfish off the beach; this week a little girl will be helped back onto the beach.

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. [John Muir]

He sent the apostles out to tell about God’s kingdom and to heal the sick. … So the apostles went out and traveled through all the towns, preaching the Good News and healing people everywhere. [Luke 9:2,6 (NCV)]

(Loren Eiseley’s essay was previously mentioned in “We Can Make a Difference,” June 2013)

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October 14, 2015

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Faith & Hope, Family, Friends & Fellowship, God's Word: The Bible, Knowing Him, Temptation & Sin, Wisdom & Guidance

THE LIFE PRESERVER

And you must think constantly about these commandments I am giving you today. You must teach them to your children and talk about them when you are at home or out for a walk; at bedtime and the first thing in the morning. Tie them on your finger, wear them on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house! [Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (TLB)]

Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it. [Proverbs 22:6 (TLB)]

Kids don't float - FL3686WEBWhile walking on the beach last week, I saw a rack of life-vests. It was one of eleven such racks in our county’s free-of-charge loaner program: “Kid’s Don’t Float; Life Jackets Do!” Looking at those jackets made me think of a tragedy that occurred just a few days earlier on a beach in another county north of us, one that doesn’t have such a program. A nine-year old boy was playing in shallow water with his siblings when the wind gusted and what was described as a “freak” wave surged and knocked him over. The boy, who couldn’t swim, disappeared beneath the water and was swept away from shore. Nearly two days later his body was finally recovered.

Would a life vest program like our county’s have prevented this tragedy? Even if life jackets had been available, would he have worn one? We can only speculate as to whether knowing how to swim would have saved his life. The water was extremely choppy and even a strong swimmer would have had difficulty. Witnesses say the children were being properly supervised but that was not enough to protect this little boy. It was just a heart-breaking accident.

My sympathy and prayers go out to his family. Their tragedy, however, got me thinking about how easy it is for us all to think that children are safe or that we can protect them when really they’re not and we can’t. We lecture and supervise them and try to shield them from harm, poor choices, and the evil in our world but, short of keeping them in a bubble, it’s impossible. We have to let children make their way, not just at the beach, but in the treacherous waters they encounter every day in our troubled world. While we may not be able to prevent the rough seas, rip tides and undertows of life, we can do our best to equip youngsters to survive those hazards. Even more important than teaching them how to swim or insisting on a life vest, we must teach our children (and all the young people in our lives) God’s Word and raise them to know and love Jesus. We need to offer them more than a jacket made of nylon and foam to keep them from sinking under the schemes of the enemy. We need to show them how to use the best life preserver of all—the armor of God.

Last of all I want to remind you that your strength must come from the Lord’s mighty power within you. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand safe against all strategies and tricks of Satan. … So use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when it is all over, you will still be standing up. But to do this, you will need the strong belt of truth and the breastplate of God’s approval. Wear shoes that are able to speed you on as you preach the Good News of peace with God. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. And you will need the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit—which is the Word of God. [Ephesians 6:10-11,13-17 (TLB)]

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September 14, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Love & Works, Today: Make it Count

BENIGN NEGLECT

Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? [Proverbs 20:6 (NLT)]

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. [Proverbs 17:17 (NLT)]

What a person desires is unfailing love. [Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)]

Remember that children, marriages and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get. [From “Life’s Little instruction Book,” by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.]

DSC01958webIn July, I wrote about the weeds that had taken over our long-neglected garden. It wasn’t just the garden that suffered in our nine month’s absence; the beautiful antique silver in the china cabinet had tarnished. Although I pass that cabinet several times a day, I’ve ignored the gradually darkening silver for nearly three months. I had good intentions and meant to get out the polish but other activities kept presenting themselves. Now, with less than a week before leaving again, polishing silver hardly seems worth the effort and the task will be postponed until next summer.

While the silver can wait, relationships with friends and family don’t survive that sort of benign neglect as easily. Unfortunately, we all tend to grow complacent in our relationships, especially the long-standing ones, and we stop making the effort necessary for them to flourish and grow. Relationships, like gardens, need to be watered and fertilized and, like silver, need to be taken out, dusted off and polished on occasion.

My silver has neither feelings nor legs so, whether polished or not, it isn’t going anywhere. Stuck in my cabinet, it will still be there next summer, as will my weed-filled garden. People, however, can leave unsatisfactory relationships to find other, more satisfactory, ones. I certainly plead guilty to being inattentive and careless in my relationships. There were so many friends I meant to call, so many people I meant to see, so many things I meant to do for friends and family, but something else always seemed to interfere and my good intentions remained just good intentions.

Do you have any relationships that could be suffering from benign neglect? When was the last time you told your spouse or a dear friend you loved him or her? When was the last time you did an unexpected kindness or joyfully made a sacrifice for a friend or family member? When was the last time you offered a willing ear or lightened a loved one’s load? When last did your actions say, “You are important and I cherish our companionship?” When was the last time you worked on your relationships, watering and feeding them so they’d blossom? When was the last time you looked at your relationships, savored their beauty, and took the effort to make them shine? I’ve got a few calls to make; how about you?

Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another’s heart, or its flame burns low. [Henry Ward Beecher]

This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. … Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. [1 John 3:11,18 (NLT)]

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September 8, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Love & Works, Obedience, Today: Make it Count

DINNER GUESTS

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place. … to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great. [Job 2:11-13 (ESV)]

Tanzania sculptureLabor Day weekend at the cottage was to be our last opportunity to enjoy time at the lake until next summer. Family would be visiting most of the time and the little guys were sure to keep us on the run. Closing the house for the season also meant a lot of chores: the house cleaned, sporting equipment brought up from the lake, deck furniture scrubbed and stowed, windows washed, the pantry emptied, and so on. The last thing either of us wanted was more work.

Before the kids and grands arrived, we had one day to quietly (and leisurely) finish up some tasks. It was also the only day we’d be free to spend any time with our neighbors until our return next June. The husband is suffering from a debilitating form of dementia so time with them is precious. By next summer, the man we’ve come to know and love may no longer even remember us. The easiest thing for us would have been to take them to dinner at a local restaurant but the noise would make it difficult for our hard-of-hearing friend and the crowd would cause him discomfort. While dinner at our house was the obvious solution, neither my husband nor I felt we had the time to spend shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning up.

The Bible is filled with stories of friendship and people who found time for one another: Ruth and Naomi, Jonathan and David, Elisha and Elijah, Abraham and Lot, and Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Even Job’s three friends spent several days with him sitting at his side. A friend loves at all times, not just when it is convenient, so we knew we had to spend time encouraging and loving on our neighbors. Somewhat reluctantly, we invited them to dinner. Panic briefly set in as we scoured the kitchen to see what provisions we had. Cheese and homemade cookies for the appetizer and dessert were found in the freezer. We had enough tomatoes for a salad and the refrigerator held the ingredients for two easy make-ahead side dishes. A quick trip into town would provide the entrée in the way of an already prepared rotisserie chicken. Typically, our dinner party preparations are more complex, involving lots of prep work, but the Holy Spirit reminded us that friendship has nothing to do with an impeccably set table or a gourmet meal; friendship is breaking bread together in love. Perfection isn’t necessary in friendship; presence, however, is. Friendship is accepting and loving one another in our imperfection. While it’s good to remember friends in our thoughts and prayers, real friendship actually sits beside them whenever possible. Jesus gave his life for his friends and few of us will ever be asked to do as much as that. A little inconvenience now and then is a small price to pay for the blessings of friendship and the opportunity to share Christ’s love.

Father, thank you for the blessing of friends—brothers and sisters connected to one another, not by blood, but by their love for one another. Thank you for gifting us with people with whom we share good times and bad, sorrow and joy, laughter and tears, health and illness. May we never hesitate to be as generous with our time as our friends are with theirs. Guide us to love in the way we hope to be loved and to do for one another in the way we want to have done for us.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. [Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)]

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. [1 Peter 4:8-9 (ESV)]

 

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August 25, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Knowing Him, Love & Works, Obedience

THE FIRST MUST BE LAST

He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” [Mark 9:35 (NLT)]

Jesus’ disciples believed him to be the long-awaited and promised Messiah. Like most of the Jews, they originally believed that the Messiah would bring a new kingdom into this world: a new government for Israel that was not under the rule of Rome. The disciples began to think about their status in this future kingdom, much like close supporters of a presidential candidate start thinking about an ambassadorship or even a place in the presidential cabinet. The gospels tell us that they argued over which of them was the greatest and who deserved the best position in this new realm. The mother of James and John even had the nerve to ask Jesus to give her sons special status in his coming kingdom. She was like a presidential candidate’s financial backer who requests that a family member be given a cushy or high profile job in the new government. It seemed that everyone around Jesus was jockeying for a choice position in his kingdom.

It took a great deal of time and teaching, however, before the disciples truly grasped that the Kingdom of God of which Jesus spoke was not going to be here on earth. Jesus told his disciples that leadership would not be determined by power and influence but by service. The good leader is not the most prominent, ruthless or esteemed person, said Jesus; the good leader is the servant. This was a new concept of leadership: attending to the needs of people instead of using them for your own purposes, caring for others instead of having them care for you. Instead of looking for ways to earn honors and privileges, Jesus tells us that we should be looking for ways to serve others and minister to their needs.

Just because you’re in the driver’s seat … doesn’t mean you have to run people over. [From “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow]

But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as ransom of many.” [Matthew 20:26-28 (NLT)]

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July 18, 2015

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Attitudes & Behavior, Bible Stories, Family, Friends & Fellowship, Fruit of the Spirit, Holidays & Holy Days, Holy Spirit, Joy, Salvation: A New You, Today: Make it Count

HAVE PLENTY OF FRUIT (Family Reunions)

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But Martha was busy with all the work to be done. She went in and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me alone to do all the work? Tell her to help me.” [Luke 10:40 (NCV)]

Thank you, God, for blessings received: no injuries, not a drop of rain fell, nothing broke that couldn’t be fixed, and I never ran out of fruit. It’s summer and, for me, that means family and friends gather at our lake house, cousins run wild, and havoc reigns. The last holiday weekend found eleven of us (five being children under ten) gathered under one roof. It was chaotic and noisy and wonderful. Thank you, God, for family and for showing me that people, not perfection, are what’s important.

At the end of the weekend, my daughter-in-law remarked that I’m different from when she first visited the lake over twelve years ago. Of course I am—I’m twelve years older and four more grandchildren wiser! Those additional years and family members finally convinced me that I don’t run a five-star bed and breakfast and I am neither Martha Stewart nor God. I’ve accepted that our house is not a luxury lodge and my guests will have to pick up their own damp towels, serve themselves, clear the table, and prepare some of the food. Recognizing that I’ll never be Martha, we use paper plates, plastic silverware, disposable cups, and a vinyl tablecloth. Most important, I’ve stopped thinking I can be God. Oh, I knew I wasn’t God twelve years ago, but that didn’t keep me from striving for a godlike perfection nor did it keep me from exhausting myself and those around me as I tried to orchestrate events so everything was flawless and everyone content. I no longer feel responsible for other people’s happiness. I can’t read minds and anticipate every need; I can’t solve every argument; I can’t comfort every crying child; and I’m not responsible for the weather.

Twelve years ago, I was like Martha, not Stewart but the Bible’s Martha: always busy with arrangements for my guests. My guess is that Martha’s preparations didn’t need to be as elaborate as they were; I know mine didn’t. The overburdened Martha was annoyed that her sister Mary was enjoying time sitting at the feet of Jesus. If Martha was anything like me, she probably wouldn’t have let Mary do much of anything in the kitchen anyway. I know I didn’t share my domestic duties well but, like Martha, resented it when I missed out on time with my guests.

I’ve learned that catching fireflies is more important than laundry and a walk with a grand has priority over washed dishes. I wonder if Martha, after Jesus chided her for misplaced priorities, put down the dish towel and joined her sister. Some things can wait—dirty dishes and crumbs on the counter are just two of them. Other things, like time with Jesus or time with family and friends, are precious and must be treasured whenever the opportunity arises.

It was more than just years and additional family members that changed me from a Martha into a Mary—it was prayer and the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. While God didn’t miraculously start doing my chores, He did teach me to accept my limitations and to stop striving for perfection. Life is so much easier when I share the everyday tasks with others and leave the important stuff to Him. I’ve really changed because of my never-ending basket of fruit. Not the one on the kitchen counter—that one was empty in no time. I mean the one I have in my heart—the one the Holy Spirit keeps filled with an endless supply of His fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Action expresses priorities. [Mahatma Gandhi]

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things. Only one thing is important. Mary has chosen the better thing, and it will never be taken away from her.” [Luke 10:41-42 (NCV)]