Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. … Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. [1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13 (NLT)]
Back in 2008, my husband and I joined others from our church to see Fireproof, a movie by Alex and Stephen Kendrick. It was about Caleb Holt, a firefighter, who’s urged by a friend and his father to hold off on getting the divorce to which he and his wife have agreed. Counseling him to fight for his crumbling marriage, his father gives him a Christian self-help book called The Love Dare and urges him to go on its forty-day challenge. Having nothing to do with the game “Truth or Dare,” the book dares Caleb to improve his marriage, not by changing his wife, but by changing the way he treats her. After completing the forty day challenge, Caleb continues changing his behavior and he and his wife eventually reconcile. As I remember, the movie ends with them renewing their marriage vows. Several months after seeing the movie, I spotted The Love Dare book while browsing through a bookstore. Whether the movie gave birth to the book or the book gave birth to the movie, I don’t know. In any case, I purchased it and, without my husband knowing, took on its 40-day challenge.
With 1 Corinthians as its foundation, each chapter of the book was a quick and easy read; the challenges, however, often were not so quick or easy! Even though love “does not demand its own way,” I recall that my willingly yielding in an area of disagreement between my husband and me was especially difficult. Since my husband knew nothing of my challenges, the hardest part was not pointing out every time I conceded to his viewpoint, did him a special kindness, eased his burden, or made it through the day without saying anything negative to or about him. But, knowing that love is not “boastful or proud,” I did my best!
When my daughter happened to see The Love Dare in my office, she seemed surprised (and a little concerned) by its presence. Although our 42-year marriage didn’t appear troubled, did the book indicate otherwise? I reassured her that the book’s presence did not mean her father and I were on the verge of divorce. It simply meant that no marriage is so secure that it can’t grow stronger or so good that it can’t become better.
While The Love Dare is no longer on my bookshelf and Fireproof is a distant memory, their lesson remains. Love isn’t determined by the one being loved; it is determined by the one who chooses to love! Although my husband and I promised unconditional love for one another nearly 55 years ago, we were young and in the throes of passion and neither of us had any idea what unconditional love actually demands. Older and wiser, now we do.
Today is Valentine’s Day, a day supposedly dedicated to romance and love. Love, however, takes more than sexy lingerie, silk boxers, candlelit dinners, boxes of candy, jewelry, red roses, a bottle of wine, a romantic movie, or a weekend getaway. Love makes sacrifices, tries to understand, and even lets the other guy win (at least once in a while). It is patient, considerate, and unselfish. Love forgives, prays for, protects, respects, defends, encourages, and endures. Love admits when it’s wrong, won’t gloat when it’s right, doesn’t keep score, refuses to bring up past wrongs, makes allowances, isn’t affected by time or circumstances, and is unconditional and absolute. Rather than date nights or bouquets of flowers, these are the things of love. They are the glue that holds a marriage together.
How will you express your love for that someone special in your life today?
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. [Sir Robert Anderson]
While I’ve been challenged by a scarcity of things like patience, endurance, and wisdom, I confess to never facing a bare cupboard, empty refrigerator, unfilled closet, or depleted bank account and never wondering where I would sleep at night or how I would feed or clothe my children. It’s not that difficult to trust God for His daily provision when we already have more than enough. Trusting Him when the cupboard is bare (or nearly so) is an entirely different story and a new experience for me. It’s not that I’m facing bankruptcy or foreclosure but that my supply of devotions is rapidly diminishing. It seems like I’m publishing faster than I can write and I can’t seem to get ahead. Watching my stockpile diminish, I envision blog bankruptcy and worry threatens my faith in God’s provision.
When we spotted some Sandhill Cranes last week, I recalled the cranes we frequently saw when we lived in rural Illinois. In the fall, flocks of them could be found eating the crop residue remaining from the recently harvested fields. As they gleaned the corn fields, I thought of the words in Deuteronomy and Leviticus directing the Israelites to deliberately leave some produce behind for those less fortunate—the people who wouldn’t have land of their own from which to harvest. Allowing the poor to maintain their dignity as they labored in the fields, rather than a handout, the gleaning was considered a rightful opportunity to improve their lives. The command to leave left-overs from the harvest for the poor was not to be taken lightly. In fact, if nothing remained in his fields following harvest, a landowner could be punished.
Having frequently been told by her elders, “If you get your reward on earth, you won’t get it in heaven!” a friend said it still remains difficult for her to accept praise or compliments. Her experience reminded me of my college roommate Marilyn who, like my friend, received large doses of guilt, shame, hellfire, and brimstone in her strict Christian upbringing. She reminded me of The Nun’s Story and Sister Luke who tried so hard to be a perfect nun who flawlessly kept her vows. But, even when Luke succeeded at following a rule of cloistered life, she repented of the pride she felt at her success. So afraid of inadvertently sinning, the nun even felt guilty when she caught a glimpse of her face reflected in a window! Like her, Marilyn kept taking her spiritual temperature and searching for some hidden transgression for which she should repent. If something was fun or entertaining, Marilyn was sure a hidden sin lurked in it. Both the fictional nun and coed became so focused on their real and imagined spiritual faults that they missed out on the joy of the Lord.
Devotions of the Heart 