STUMBLING BLOCKS – (Part 1)

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. [Romans 14:13 (NRSV)]

Having witnessed Jesus’ God-like power over nature when He walked on water, the disciples recognized Him as “the Son of God!” [Mat 14:32] Recognizing Jesus’ divinity, however, did not mean they understood He was the Messiah. While Jesus’ power to heal, multiply food, still storms, and walk on water implied a godlike nature, most 1st century Jews didn’t expect the Messiah to be divine. Expecting a righteous judge and a great political and military leader coming from the lineage of David, they assumed he would be a human being. So, when Jesus asked His disciples who people thought He was, they said John the Baptist, Elijah, Jeremiah, or another one of the prophets—godly men who performed miracles, spoke of judgment, and called the people to return to covenant faithfulness.

Jesus then asked the men, “But who do you say I am?” With insight that came from God, Peter identified Jesus as “the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”[16:15] He understood that Jesus was both divine and the Messiah! Blessing the disciple, Jesus gave Simon (meaning “hearer”) the new name of Peter (meaning “rock”). When the disciple recognized Jesus as both the Messiah and “the Son of the living God,” the hearer became the foundation rock upon which the new church would be built.

Following Peter’s confession of faith, Jesus began to tell his disciples the implications of His Messiahship. He clearly described His suffering and death at the hands of the Jewish high court. Unfortunately, like the rest of the disciples, Peter believed the Messiah had come to provide economic and political relief for the Jews—not atone for our sins with His blood.  Still thinking about an earthly kingdom, Peter took Jesus aside and said, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” [16:22]

It was then that Jesus addressed the rock as “Satan” and called him a “stumbling block.” In an instant, the man to whom Jesus gave the keys to the Kingdom and a name meaning rock had become a stumbling block and a tool for Satan! Like Satan’s temptations in the wilderness, Peter’s words tempted the Lord to thwart God’s plan and achieve greatness without suffering and death. Jesus roundly rebuked the disciple for wanting to put man’s plan ahead of God’s.

Hoping to protect Jesus from the suffering He’d predicted, Peter didn’t deliberately choose to be Satan’s tool. His error was in assessing the situation from his viewpoint rather than God’s. Having just proclaimed Jesus as the Son of the living God, Peter should have known that God had the situation firmly in control and that the only plan that mattered was God’s!

With Peter we see how easy it is to unwittingly move from being a rock to a stumbling block. Are we rocks—the solid people who can be relied upon, the ones who encourage, who can be trusted to hold things together, the firm foundations who support those who are weak and lift those who fall? Is ours a rock-solid faith that will follow God’s plan wherever it takes us? Or, like stumbling blocks—do we ever discourage, hinder progress, or cause doubt? Could our hypocrisy or less than stellar behavior hinder our witness? Even unintentionally, are we stumbling blocks that trip up the faith of those around us?

We know that wasn’t the last time the Apostle would disappoint the Lord. He wasn’t perfect and neither are we. Nevertheless, Peter proved to be the rock upon which Christ’s church was built. Like the Apostle, we too can be rocks that serve as stepping stones to further God’s purpose.

Jesus said to his disciples, “Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to anyone by whom they come! It would be better for you if a millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea than for you to cause one of these little ones to stumble.” [Luke 17:1-2 (NRSV)]

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RETALIATE OR FORGIVE – FORGIVENESS (3)

But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. …. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. [Luke 6:27-28,36 (ESV)]

black vultureWhen writing about forgiveness these last few days, I wondered why we find it so difficult to forgive. Perhaps it’s because, in our troubled hearts, we want to even the score before doing so. Wanting to retaliate in some way, bitterness and resentment grow and eat at us until we can extract our pound of flesh.

For one woman, the opportunity for retaliation didn’t arise until her father died and she wrote his blistering obituary. Contemptuous of the man, she said he lived “29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved!” and called him a “horse’s ass!” After naming his “relieved children,” she said he left behind ”countless other victims including an ex-wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.” Calling the man, “a model example of bad parenting combined with…a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive,” she added that he joined the Navy as part of a plea deal to avoid criminal charges. Along with being described as reckless, wasteful, and having no redeeming qualities, he was accused of abusing his family, squandering their money, and being cruel to animals.

Explaining “there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured,” she added that the man’s cremains would be kept in the barn until the “donkey’s wood shavings run out.” The obituary closed with the words that his passing “proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.” The angry words in this scathing obituary were the family’s way of extracting their pound of flesh from the man.

Reading those words saddened me when I read them in 2017 and they continue to trouble me today. Perhaps the man’s family found the spiteful obituary cathartic, but publicly cataloguing the dead man’s wrongs accomplished nothing. Even though their contemptuous words remain on the funeral home’s website today, the man they hated will never read them! I suspect the sweet taste of revenge his family may have felt when the obituary was posted left them with a bitter aftertaste.

When harmed, it’s natural to want payback. Natural, however, isn’t necessarily right and justice and vengeance are God’s department and His alone. Rather than meeting evil with more evil, Jesus tells us we are to meet evil with grace and to do all we can to live in peace with everyone. As Christ’s followers, we are expected to extend grace and forgiveness.

I can only pray that this man’s passing has provided healing for those whose lives he touched. That healing, however, won’t come until they finally forgive him and let go of the past. Like their anger, forgiveness can’t change their past but, unlike anger, forgiveness can change their future! Unlike the bitter aftertaste of anger and revenge, forgiveness always tastes sweet!

 To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. [Lewis B. Smedes]

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” [Romans 12:18-20 (ESV)]

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FORGETTING – FORGIVENESS (1)

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. [Psalm 103:8-12 (ESV)]

scarlet swamp hibiscusWhen Moravian missionaries first arrived in the Arctic, they found no single word in the Inuktitut language for forgiveness. That doesn’t mean the Inuit people didn’t let go of past wrongs, just that they didn’t have a single world for doing so. Since forgiveness is an essential concept in Christianity, the missionaries wanted a single word that captured the kind of forgiveness found in Psalm 103. Using Inuktitut words, they came up issumagijoujungnainermik meaning “not-being-able-to-think-about-it-anymore.” This 24-letter multi-syllable word beautifully describes the God who will “cast all our sins into the depths of the sea” [Micah 7:19], who vows to “forgive their iniquity, and…remember their sin no more,” [Jeremiah 31:34], and who promises to blot out our transgressions and not remember our sins.[Isaiah 43:25]

The kind of forgiveness expressed in issumagijoujungnainermik is not limited to God. That is the kind of forgiveness we Christ-followers are to have for the offenses of others. A story about nursing pioneer and Red Cross founder Clara Barton illustrates issumagijoujungnainermik.  When a friend reminded Barton of a spiteful act done to her years earlier, she acted as if it never happened. When the friend questioned, “Don’t you remember it?” Barton vehemently replied, “No! I distinctly remember forgetting it.” True forgiveness is deliberately choosing not to remember that wrong. Without our deliberate effort to put offenses aside, it’s easy for past hurts to weasel their way right back into our hearts and minds.

A recent Pickles comic strip (drawn by Brian Crane) illustrates what forgiveness isn’t. In it, Earl asks his wife Opal, “Are you mad at me for some reason?” When she reminds him that he left the refrigerator door open all night, he explains, “I didn’t mean to…I said I was sorry.” The repentant husband adds, “You said you were going to forgive and forget.” After replying that she did “forgive and forget,” Opal continues, “I just don’t want you to forget that I forgot and forgave.” Storing up our grievances and then reminding people of our forgiveness isn’t “not-being-able-to-think-about-it-anymore.” Still holding on to her grievance, it looks like Opal needs a lesson in issumagijoujungnainermik!

While it’s easy to forget where we put our glasses or keys (as both Opal and Earl frequently do), it’s not so easy to forget a wrong. Like Opal, do we say we forgive but fail to forget? D.L Moody would say that’s like burying “the hatchet with the handle sticking out of the ground, so you can grasp it the minute you want it.” It’s only by the power of the Spirit that we can practice issumagijoujungnainermik!

I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. [Henry Ward Beecher]

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. [Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)]

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ORGANIZING PRAYERS

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. [1 Timothy 2:1 (NLT)]

While there are no hard and fast rules about prayer except to believe in it and do it, some people use acronyms to help organize their prayers. The PRAY method stands for Praise, Repent, Ask, and Yield while the ACTS method formats prayer into Admiration (praise), Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication (asking God for what is needed). A TACOS prayer structure is Thanks, Adoration (or Applause), Confession, Others, and Self. Rather than an acronym, I was taught “The Hand of Prayer” as a girl. Beginning with the thumb, the order was Praise, Thanksgiving, Confession, Intercession (prayer for others), and Petition (prayer for oneself).

Regardless of how we do it, we should remember that only after we’ve put God first in our prayers, are we to pray for others and ourselves. I, for one, admit that I often speed through praise and thanks along with confession and repentance to get right to the asking. Worse, I find that my personal petitions frequently preempt and outweigh my intercessory prayers.

There is nothing wrong with praying for ourselves. In the Lord’s Prayer, we were taught to ask for our daily needs, forgiveness of sins, and deliverance from temptation. The Psalms are filled with pleas for God to intervene in the psalmists’ lives. Hannah, Jabez, David, Paul and even Jesus prayed for themselves. Praying for ourselves brings us into an intimate relationship with God and invites His blessings into our lives. The problem arises when we come to God just for those blessings without acknowledging Him or praying for others. Remembering our “God blesses” for others didn’t end with adulthood!

Before he became Pope Francis, Cardinal Bergoglio is said to have created the “Five Finger” prayer approach to help little ones remember their many “God blesses.” His method helps us remember to offer our prayers for others, as well. Because it’s nearest to the body when hands are folded in prayer, the thumb reminds us to pray for the people who are nearest and dearest—our family and friends. The index or pointing finger is a reminder to pray for those people (e.g. teachers, counselors, doctors, and pastors) who point us in the right direction. As the strongest and tallest, the middle finger is a prompt to pray for those in power and authority (even the ones with whom we disagree). Because it is the weakest digit with the least amount of dexterity, the fourth (or ring) finger reminds us to pray for the weak and powerless (e.g. the homeless, vulnerable, impoverished, and suffering). It is only when we get to the pinky that we pray for ourselves and our own needs. That little finger is a vivid reminder of how small we are in relation to God and how small our needs are in relation to the needs of others.

It is both a responsibility and a privilege to lift others’ needs to God in prayer. Abraham interceded for the people of Sodom, Job for his friends, Moses for the Israelites, the early church for the imprisoned Peter, Daniel for his captive nation, Paul for the readers of his letters, and Jesus for His disciples. John Calvin said, “To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them.” When we pray with our five fingers, we have four fingers reminding us to do just that!

We are never more like Christ than in prayers of intercession. [Austin Phelps]

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. [Ephesians 6:18 (NLT)]

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. [Galatians 6:2 (NLT)]

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IT’S CURTAINS

Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. [Psalm 90:12 (NLT)]

Death never takes the wise man by surprise; He is always ready to go. [Jean de La Fontaine]

powderpuffSeveral years ago, two friends joined the ranks of widowhood within a week of one another. Because her husband surrendered to cancer several months earlier by stopping all treatment, one woman was not surprised when she joined the club. The other woman, however, went to bed a wife and awoke the next morning to find herself a widow. Despite his looking the picture of health, her husband, having suffered a fatal stroke while she slept, lay dead on the kitchen floor.

Although Ira Byock is a palliative care physician and a leading advocate for improving end of life care, his book The Four Things That Matter Most is as much about living well as it is about dying. The four things referenced in the book’s title are four simple phrases: Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. While we may think we’re simply restating what should be evident to those around us, we must never underestimate the power of those words.

We’d like to picture a peaceful ending with family gathered around our bedside and the opportunity to say and hear whatever needs to be said or heard, but that’s probably not the way our last act of life will be staged. Even though I knew my mother’s cancer would defeat her, when I walked out of her hospital room that afternoon, I never suspected that she’d be in a coffin when next I saw her! When I said farewell to my father after a holiday visit, I never expected that, while pheasant hunting in a cornfield, he’d die of a massive heart attack less than three weeks later. My father-in-law was airlifted to a trauma center and died there before any of us even knew he’d been in a car accident. Neither life nor death go according to plan!

In their last moments, did either of those husbands regret having left something unspoken? When their caskets were closed, did their family members weep because of words they’d left unsaid? Because they had warning, I’d like to think the first man and his family expressed their forgiveness, thanks, and love. As for the second husband—while gasping his last breath, did he wish he’d said “I love you!” before his wife went to bed? Do his children regret not apologizing for something or failing to express their love and appreciation for all he did? Does his wife wish she’d told him how much she loved him before going upstairs that night? Does she regret their previous day’s spat or wish she’d thanked him for his incredible patience?

Why should we wait until the curtain is closing before saying the important things? Any forgiveness to request or extend, any thanks to offer, and any words of love to share should not wait for the final act. We may not even know the play is closing, the people to whom we want to speak may not be present, or conversation may not be possible.

Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. While it may be stating the obvious when we utter those words, being obvious doesn’t mean they don’t need to be said or heard. They’re all things that shouldn’t wait to be expressed until we or the people we love are at death’s door. If Lazarus or his sisters left anything unsaid the first time he died, I imagine they didn’t after his resurrection. Unlike Lazarus, however, we don’t get a second chance at dying and, unlike Martha and Mary, we don’t get a second opportunity to say farewell to our loved ones.

Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. We don’t know when the curtain will close. Is there anyone to whom we should say those words before it does?

Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it…If we did, we would do things differently. … Forgive yourself before you die, then forgive others. [Morrie Schwartz in “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom]

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. [Psalm 39:4-5 (NLT)]

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I’M FINE

And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. [1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)]

poppy mallowWhenever I asked about her boys, my sister would give a vague answer like, “They’re fine…just doing their own thing” It was several years before I learned “their own thing” meant they were breaking her mama’s heart with their mental illness, addictions, and run-ins with the law. Because she kept her pain concealed, she carried the weight of that burden alone for many years.

When we ask someone how they’re doing, we often hear similar elusive or brusque answers like, “I’m fine,” “It’s taken care of,” or “We don’t need a thing.” Maybe everything really is hunky-dory but those answers often are used when life has gone seriously awry and things are anything but fine. Nevertheless, such vague but terse responses are conversation stoppers. Even best friends (or sisters) who suspect something is amiss won’t pry and the subject is politely changed.

We often wrap ourselves up in a nice package on the outside when we’re a mess on the inside. While we allow people onto the front porch of our lives, we’re not about to let them in to see the messy kitchen, fingerprints on the glass, or dirty floors. We refuse to expose our vulnerabilities and weakness but then we wonder where our friends are when we need them. People don’t know we need them if we refuse to allow them entrance into our lives.

Think of the paralyzed man whose friends took him to see Jesus in Capernaum. What if he’d told his friends not to worry about him—he was just fine on his mat? While his friends went off to see Jesus, he would have remained paralyzed at home! What if the blind man in Bethsaida told his friends they didn’t have to trouble themselves and bring him to Jesus or if the centurion’s servant told his master he didn’t need a thing? Think of the healing they would have missed!

What if Moses told Jethro he had everything under control and didn’t need his father-in-law’s advice to delegate his duties? What if Nehemiah said he was “just fine” when King Artaxerxes asked about his sad demeanor? What if, insisting she didn’t need company, Naomi hadn’t allowed Ruth to accompany her back to Bethlehem? Moses probably wouldn’t have lasted another year (let alone forty) leading those “stiff-necked” Israelites,  Jerusalem may not have been rebuilt, and Naomi would have been a bitter, lonely, and poor widow instead of the happy grandmother of Ruth and Boaz’s baby (and ancestor of Jesus)! Knowing they weren’t “just fine,” they admitted it and accepted what was offered!

As for Job’s friends—he could have rebuffed them at the door, telling them, “I’m fine; this is just a little setback.” Instead, he allowed them inside to see his scabs, sores, and misery. Even with his friends’ erroneous theology, Job must have found comfort when they remained at his side. Perhaps their discussions even strengthened his faith in God.

When a stranger asks, “How are you?” we’re so used to replying, “I’m fine!” that we forget that our friends actually do care about the answer. Usually, when people inquire about our lives or ask how they can help, they sincerely want to know. If they’re simply being polite or nosy, when we say we need something, they’ll probably tell us they’d love to help but are just too busy!

We often tell our friends and family we’re okay when we’re not and the same goes for God. Even though God knows everything about us and all that we need, He tells us to make our requests known to Him. Fortunately, with God, we can be confident that He truly is interested in the answer and He’ll never tell us He’s too busy! Let’s remember, however, that God’s answer to our need may be someone who asks, “How are you?”

Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful. [Ric Ocasek]

You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy. [John 16:24 (NLT)]

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. [Matthew 7:7-8 (NLT)]

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