For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power. [1 Corinthians 4:20 (NLT)]

Last week, I had a meltdown in the grocery store. I stood in an aisle and quietly cried. The tears had absolutely nothing to do with the frustration of not finding what I wanted in a strange store; they had everything to do with not trusting God. I’d made the mistake many of us Christians do of “talking the talk” but not “walking the walk.” I speak and write a great deal about trusting God but I’m nowhere near as good about giving up control and truly putting myself and those I care for into his loving hands!

Let me back up a bit. In the space of a few days, my husband went from the onset of symptoms to tests and diagnosis to a finding that surgery is necessary. Scheduled later today, the surgery is microscopic and the prognosis is excellent. Nevertheless, this puts a “monkey wrench” into our plans for the next month or so. As we left the doctor’s office last Thursday, we started planning and rescheduling and reorganizing our lives. We said all the right things about having faith and trusting God and even thanked Him for good medical care. But, I mistook acting calm and trusting for being calm and trusting. As I got busy rewriting our calendars and making new arrangements, I forgot the most important thing: prayer! Oh, I’d said my usual prayers and even added my husband to my prayer list but I hadn’t really talked with God about my fears and all of the “what ifs” that were racing around in the back of my mind. That’s what the tears were about in the middle of the store. I finally had to admit that while I could take charge of changing appointments on our calendar, I couldn’t take charge of my husband’s health and the future. I had to truly turn it all over to God and trust him fully with our tomorrows.

O Lord, thank you for the challenges of life and the lessons they bring. Forgive us when we act like we’re the ones in charge. We hand you all our worries and fears, trusting that you will enable us to handle whatever the future brings.

Perhaps what our Father would have us learn is that worry is not for Him to take away, but for us to give up. [From “Vital Signs” by Kathy Herman]

But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. [Psalm 31:14-15a (NLT)]