And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. [1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)]
Whenever I asked about her boys, my sister would give a vague answer like, “They’re fine…just doing their own thing” It was several years before I learned “their own thing” meant they were breaking her mama’s heart with their mental illness, addictions, and run-ins with the law. Because she kept her pain concealed, she carried the weight of that burden alone for many years.
When we ask someone how they’re doing, we often hear similar elusive or brusque answers like, “I’m fine,” “It’s taken care of,” or “We don’t need a thing.” Maybe everything really is hunky-dory but those answers often are used when life has gone seriously awry and things are anything but fine. Nevertheless, such vague but terse responses are conversation stoppers. Even best friends (or sisters) who suspect something is amiss won’t pry and the subject is politely changed.
We often wrap ourselves up in a nice package on the outside when we’re a mess on the inside. While we allow people onto the front porch of our lives, we’re not about to let them in to see the messy kitchen, fingerprints on the glass, or dirty floors. We refuse to expose our vulnerabilities and weakness but then we wonder where our friends are when we need them. People don’t know we need them if we refuse to allow them entrance into our lives.
Think of the paralyzed man whose friends took him to see Jesus in Capernaum. What if he’d told his friends not to worry about him—he was just fine on his mat? While his friends went off to see Jesus, he would have remained paralyzed at home! What if the blind man in Bethsaida told his friends they didn’t have to trouble themselves and bring him to Jesus or if the centurion’s servant told his master he didn’t need a thing? Think of the healing they would have missed!
What if Moses told Jethro he had everything under control and didn’t need his father-in-law’s advice to delegate his duties? What if Nehemiah said he was “just fine” when King Artaxerxes asked about his sad demeanor? What if, insisting she didn’t need company, Naomi hadn’t allowed Ruth to accompany her back to Bethlehem? Moses probably wouldn’t have lasted another year (let alone forty) leading those “stiff-necked” Israelites, Jerusalem may not have been rebuilt, and Naomi would have been a bitter, lonely, and poor widow instead of the happy grandmother of Ruth and Boaz’s baby (and ancestor of Jesus)! Knowing they weren’t “just fine,” they admitted it and accepted what was offered!
As for Job’s friends—he could have rebuffed them at the door, telling them, “I’m fine; this is just a little setback.” Instead, he allowed them inside to see his scabs, sores, and misery. Even with his friends’ erroneous theology, Job must have found comfort when they remained at his side. Perhaps their discussions even strengthened his faith in God.
When a stranger asks, “How are you?” we’re so used to replying, “I’m fine!” that we forget that our friends actually do care about the answer. Usually, when people inquire about our lives or ask how they can help, they sincerely want to know. If they’re simply being polite or nosy, when we say we need something, they’ll probably tell us they’d love to help but are just too busy!
We often tell our friends and family we’re okay when we’re not and the same goes for God. Even though God knows everything about us and all that we need, He tells us to make our requests known to Him. Fortunately, with God, we can be confident that He truly is interested in the answer and He’ll never tell us He’s too busy! Let’s remember, however, that God’s answer to our need may be someone who asks, “How are you?”
Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful. [Ric Ocasek]
Devotions of the Heart 