…Christ suffered for you and gave you an example to follow. So you should do as he did. …People insulted Christ but he did not insult them in return. Christ suffered, but he did not threaten. He let God, the one who judges rightly, take care of him. [1 Peter 2:21,23 (NCV)]

The words cut me to the quick. I was deeply hurt and then I got angry. Fortunately, the message came in an email so my mouth didn’t have a chance to blurt out something I’d soon regret. I probably would have defended my actions and then gone on the offense by listing the numerous ways this person had hurt me. Fortunately, God stopped me from responding that evening. Instead, I prayed about this person and what my response should be. As I prayed, God helped me see into this person’s heart: the message could only have been written by a very unhappy person. I realized that the angry words came from deep pain on the other person’s part: pain I had not caused and that had nothing to do with me. I just happened to be the convenient scapegoat. The words God guided me to write in return were loving and warm and, yes, a little apologetic (even though I had to swallow my pride because I truly had done nothing for which I needed to apologize). Instead of adding fuel to the fire, God helped me apply balm to a wounded heart.

Lord, be with us, and even toughen our skin a bit, so that we can let angry and mean words quickly wash over us. Show us how to keep them from soaking into our hearts. No matter how upset we may be, help us respond in a way that will heal instead of hurt.

A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. … Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. [Proverbs 15:1,4 (MSG)]